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Post Info TOPIC: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES


Nic Superfan

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Date: 12:38 AM, 11/30/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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CHAPTER SEVEN

 

 

Fezyr woke with a scorching hangover. He opened one eye, then the other, sat up and shook the confetti out of his hair. “Ohhh crraaap,” he mumbled. He stumbled naked out of his room and staggered down the hall to the latrine. He looked into the mirror and winced. He looked like s***. He grinned and lowered his head. “f***in’ great party,” he said and began to wash his face. The cool water felt good against his eyelids. He froze when he felt two delicate hands on his ass.

“Let me by, Fezyr. I need to use it.” It was Sheela.

“Sorry, sure,” he said moving so she could get past him.  He turned on the sonic shower, got it just right and stepped in. “Ohhh man! That feels great.”

“There was much drinking last night.”

“Yeah there was,” he washed his armpits then his chest. “Are you okay, Shee Shee?”

“I am fine and you?”

“I am just a little hungover.”

She stepped into the shower with him and hugged him. “I had so much fun dancing with you.”

“Dancing dancing or the other thing?”

“Both,” she said with a sigh. “I like you so much.”

“I like you, too, Shee.” Phaser tipped her chin up. “Yer just about the prettiest little gal I ever met.”

Sheela smiled happily. “I have some good news for you.”

“You do? Wut?”

“My client who does the forging? He will speak to you.”

“Oh, that is good news,” he said. “When?”

“He is coming out tomorrow.”

“Great!  Thanks for settin’ that up for me,” he stepped out of the shower. “It’s all yours.”

“Will you get the shampoo for me?”

“I got it up too high, Lil Bit?” He reached in and brought it to a lower shelf for her. “There ya go.”

“Thank you.”

“When you’re done, maybe we can go to Lawani’s for breakfast. Then I’m gonna buzz the StarStation and show off my ride.”

“Your ship is very beautiful. Pockets worked so hard on it.”

“That kid is the best. I gotta find some way to thank him.”

“He loves you so much. As much as his own brother. You are his hero.”

“No such thing,” Fez shook his head. “He’s my hero. He’s smart and I trust him.”

“You want to thank him? Tell him what you just told me. You will make him very happy.” Sheela stepped out as well.

Fez looked at her and smiled. “Damn you’re pretty.”

They walked down the hallway back to Fez’s quarters, just as Mook came out of his room. “Hey, you guys are naked,” he said, passing them.

“Wow! How’d THAT happen?” Fez said feigning surprise. “Oh, Mook, I got a meetin’ with the guy who’s gonna do our papers. You and Pockets git your info together for ‘im.”

“When?”

“Not till some time tomorrow. And just in case you didn’t know it, your butt nekkid too.”

“Oo! So I am.” Mook went into the latrine and shut the door. “Ow, my f***in’ head!”

Fezyr giggled as he and Sheela went into his room. “Looks like I ain’t the only one hung over.”

“I believe there will be many hangovers today. You had a very successful party.”

“I can’t hardly remember it none. Did I have a good time?”

“Yes,” Sheela said laughing. “You did. You danced with many people. Miss Lawani, Betti, your Uncle Vilch, and Admiral Gardwyne.”

“Wut?” Fezyr froze in the middle of putting on his pants. “I danced with Admiral Gardwyne?”

“You did.”

“Fast or slow.”

“A slow one. He was very patient and even laughed.”

“s***, I was so drunk.”

“He knew that. He’s a very nice man. I think Miss Lawani is sweet on him.”

“Yeah she was always a sucker for the Britanian accent.” Fez tucked his pullover into his pants and plopped down to pull on his boots. “What’s the damage out there?”

“No damage. We cleaned up the mess after we put you boys to bed. Oh and I fed the cat.”

“Cat? What cat?”

“The Bastaani boy who was at the party. He was very sweet and very hungry.”

“Oh…cool. When did everybody leave?”

“Pretty late. I brought you to bed. You were very drunk. I had my way with you.”

“Oh you did, didja?” Fez turned and grinned at her. “Taking advantage of a poor Dyzaali boy?” He got up and went to her. “Gimme a kiss.”

She complied.

“You take yer time, I’m gonna go check out my ship.” He went to the door. “Did any of the other girls stay?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll check it out.” With that he left the room and walked down the hall to Mook’s door. He knocked and two female voices responded.

“Yes?”

He poked his head in and found Rylaena and Finda in Mook’s bed. “Well looks like you gals had a good time.”

“It was a VERY good party, Fezyr.” Rylaena stretched.

“Tell Mooky I’m takin’ Sheela to breakfast, okay?”

“We’ll tell him,” Finda giggled. “You tell Trin she needs to get ready to go.”

“Sure, where is she?”

“With Pockets.”

Fezyr nodded and closed the door. He started down the hall then stopped suddenly. “With Pockets?!” He shook his head and continued to Pockets’ quarters. He knocked.

“Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” Fezyr asked.

“Yeah sure.”

Fezyr opened the door and looked in. Pockets and Trin, a pretty little Elvrakaani girl, were sitting on his bed, completely naked, playing a video game.

“Hello Fezyr Sphenglys,” Trin said. She smiled at him, got off the bed, ran to him and gave him a hug.

“Hi Trinny, man there sure are a lot of unclothed people on the ship this morning.”

“Yes, you are very observant.”

“Yeah, I usually notice cute little nekkid green chicks running around. I’m purty sharp that way.” He grinned. “Listen Rylaena and Finda said you hafta get dressed and ready t’go, Missy.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Pockets!”

“Hey, what.”

“Are you…uhm…still…you know… a virgin?” Fez scratched his head.

“Nope.” Pockets grinned. “Trin showed me what all the fuss was about.”

Fezyr returned the grin. “Nothin’ but men in the crew now!” Fezyr told him. “Does Mook know?”

“Yep, when I told him I was ready and Trin wanted to teach me, he said ‘f*** yer brains out kids.’”

“Uhhhhhn Huh. And was he drunk?”

“Out of his skull,” Pockets laughed.

“Think it’ll become a habit?”

“I think it bears repeatin’,” Pockets said with a grin.

Fez spanked Trin lightly on her butt. One didn’t seriously spank an Elvie, they cry if you hit them, even the fully grown males. “Good goin’.”

“Thank you,” she said shyly returning to Pockets. “He was very sweet and very gentle.”

“Our Pockets is a good person, he’s totally my hero,” Fezyr told her. “You are, y’know,” he said to Pockets who clearly looked stunned.

The young Aybaali nodded slowly.

“Get dressed!” Fez said and left. “Food! Food! Food!” he chanted all the way down the hall.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

After a filling breakfast at Lawani’s the boys prepared to go for a ride. Mook went back to the Lil Zipper, for the purpose of reuniting it with the freighter, while Fezyr and Pockets were headed to the Betti. Sheela walked with them holding onto Fezyr’s arm.

“I gotta go now, Shee.”

“I will miss you.”

“I’m just takin’ ‘er around the Starstation to show her off. We’ll be back! We’re waiting for her cannons to arrive.”

“Then you will go away forever.”

“No!  We all got family here. We’re gonna do some transport runs for Uncle Vilch.  Wuts up?”

Sheela lowered her head and shook it. “I know you spacer boys. Once you have everything you need you will fly away and never return.”

“Well I do wanna go explorin’,” Fezyr said. “Why doncha come with us?”

She looked up at him. “You would have me come with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I am okay. I know you really like me. I do not need to go.”

Fezyr blinked at her. “I don’t care how old I git, I will never understand women.”

She pulled him down by the lapel of his leather flight jacket and kissed him soundly. “You do not have to.”

“You scoot now, Pretty,” Fezyr told her. “We’re gonna pull out.”

Sheela walked out of the tramway, stopping at the door to wave.

Fezyr entered the freighter and walked to his quarters. He noticed cabin 5’s door was open.  He walked down the hall and secured it. As he was about to turn he spotted something shiny on the floor of the galley.  He walked over and picked up an empty rations container. He frowned. They didn’t have this on the ship. It was a military item. Why would someone at the party be eating military rations when there was seriously good food all over the place last night.  He shrugged. Maybe got kicked out from under somewhere, maybe belonged to the last crew. He stashed it in a cabinet. He’d ask Mook about it. He was more knowledgeable about such things.

“Fezyr!”

“In here Pockets.”

“Sorry I’m late. I ran into Sheela in the hall. I hope you know how much she likes you, Fez.”

“Truth is I really like her, too,” Fez said with a smile.

Pockets grinned. “I’m glad cuz you two look real good together.”

Fezyr pulled out the wrapper. “Do you know what this is?”

“Yeah, that’s F-Rats. Feddies use ‘em planetside if there’s a conflict going on. Where’d that come from?”

“Found it on the floor when I came in here.”

“I cleaned this ship from front to back. I never saw that,” Pockets said. “Somebody must’ve brought it last night.”

“See now, that just don’t set right with me. We had really good snacks in here last night. Why?”

“Well, it’s weird -- people’s taste. What you and I might think of as awful might be as sweet as candy to a person from other world.”

“See? Right there. THAT’S why you’re my hero,” Fezyr pointed at him. “Right there.”

Pockets grinned and shook his head. “ ‘Magine that…” The young Aybaali loved his friend. IF IQ was measured by engine savvy, Fez would be a genius. It wasn’t that the fellow was stupid. But his thoughts and emotions ran close to the surface. If Fez ever got ‘deep’, he might be kind of scary.  ‘Deepness’ would come with age for him, he was just too full piss and vinegar right now.

“Mystery solved,” Fez said and dropped the wrapper into the disintegrator. “Let’s take a ride.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

With the shuttle in its little bay, and everything secure, Fezyer had the con and was eager to show Betti off to friends at the Starstation. He tapped the communications button and called the base. “Federation dude, I need to speak to the Admiral, come on.”

“Identify yourself, return.”

“Fezyr Sphenglys. Admiral Gardwyne knows me, come on.”

“No offense, but everybody knows you, Mr. Spenglys. Hang in there, A F M.”

“Copy.”

“What’re you doin’?” Mook asked.

“I wanna do a fly by past the concourse were Lox’s class is.”

“Lox has a class?”

“Yeah he told me he’s babysittin’ some new cadets, teaching a class on the new propulsion units for the Vespas.”

“No kiddin’?  How ‘bout that,” Mook said.

“Admiral Gardwyne to Mean Betti, what can I do for you Mr. Sphenglys, return.”

“I was wonderin’ if I could get clearance to fly by the concourse where Lt. Commander Loxlie Volo is teachin’, sir.  Just take a minute or so. So he can see the ship, come on.”

“Well that is rather irregular, Mr. Sphenglys…but I will make an exception this once. Give me five to make sure traffic is clear, return.”

“Copy. Holdin’.” Fez muted the com board. “Uhm, what d’you remember from last night?”

“Not a heck of a lot, why?”

“You remember Pockets coming to you with a question?”

“Nope.”

Fezyr lowered his head and laughed.

“What?”

“You gave him permission,” Fezyr said.

“Permission?” Mook turned his seat to look at Fez. “For what? To do what?”

“To check Miss Trin’s oil,” Fezyr said.

“What?”

Fezyr waggled his thick eyebrows.

“Oh you are kidding me,” Mook said when he finally got it.

“Nope. He’s a man fully growed, now.”

“Which one is Trin?”

“She’s that sweet little Elvrakaani gal with the pink hair.”

“Well I guess if it was time, it was time…Elvies are a good first choice,” Mook shrugged.

What he meant by that was the fact the Elvrakaani were a gentle race. They were pacifistic, vegetarian, hive conscious little beings, open and innocent. If Pockets had to learn about sex now, a gentle and sweet Elvie was the perfect way to break the ice.

“Wow, you’re takin’ this really well. The way you guarded his virginity I though you was savin’ him for a sacrifice or sumthin’!”

“I wasn’t protecting his virginity, Fez, I was trying to keep him from being hurt, getting’ his heart broken by a first love. I’m glad it was with Trin and I’m glad she does what she does for a livin’.”

“A hooker broke me in right about his age,” Fez said. “And she taught me some great stuff.”

Mook laughed. “It sure must be workin’ for you.”

“I can’t complain,” Fez said.

“Admiral Gardwyne to Mean Betti. You have the go ahead, return.”

“Thank ya kindly fer that, Admiral, Sir. That’ll be end me.” Fezyr flipped the com switch and turned to face the controls.

He came around the pilots training area and almost touched the thick class window with Betti’s nose.

The cadets all ran to the viewport, pointing as Loxlie walked over. “Class…this is what a good mechanic can do with a beat up old derelict. Take a good look.”

“Who is that, Lt. Commander Volo?” One of the boys asked.

“That is one of my best friends, Tyron. That is Fezyr Sphenglys.” Loxlie waved. He made some hand signals and Fezyr nodded.

Inside the ship Mook looked at him. “What’s he doin’?”

“He wants me to do some fancy maneuvers.” Fezyr pulled the Betti away and went through some samples of her maneuverability. Then she pulled her alongside the view port, stood and mooned Loxlie.

The cadets roared with laughter, Loxlie as well. That is, until he noticed Admiral Gardwyne was standing next to him. He snapped to attention. “Admiral on deck!”

The cadets snapped to.

Outside the view port, Fezyr pulled up his leather pants and turned around grinning and shooting the finger. He froze when he saw who was standing there.

Admiral Gardwyne arched one eyebrow and gave him a stern look. Then with a wave of his hand, as though he were saying ‘shoo’, he turned back to the class.

Fezyr took his chair and pulled the Betti away, laughing the whole time. “I’m gonna have a summons to have a chat with the Admiral, wait and see.”

“Yeah, your home away from home. You sure test that man’s patience.”

“Naww. Admiral Gardwyne likes me.”

“Oh does he think you have a great ass too?”

“Hm…I dunno, now that he’s seen it, maybe I better ask him.”

     Their laughter filled the ship.



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"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 6:58 PM, 11/30/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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That is a really funny chapter!chortle I had to laugh so much, while reading! And, congratz, Pockets! Glad, he`s a man now!winkbiggrin



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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage




Nic-Lover

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Date: 7:26 PM, 11/30/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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I have not read it, not personal I just don't like reading much, but I must say the cover, I admire, a true masterpiece!!!



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My brain only works on one power... The power of Nicolas Cage!



Nic Superfan

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Date: 8:49 PM, 11/30/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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That's okay Eva...I don't expect everybody to read these.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

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Date: 9:01 PM, 11/30/12
THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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I'm glad it made you laugh. It was a fun chapter to write. I"m enjoying Fez a lot. He's crazy. 



-- Edited by CajunSheWolf on Friday 30th of November 2012 09:02:45 PM

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"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

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Date: 9:21 PM, 11/30/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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GALAXYCREW.png   Balfro4.jpg

 

 

                                                                              BAL

Thought I show you who I see when I'm writing. You'll meet Bru, Bal and Puss very soon.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 7:06 PM, 12/02/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Wow! Now, I can really imagine, how these character look like! $Really nice looking guys! biggrinAnd, I`m looking forward to continue reading, to meet them! Thanks, Cajun!pinkp



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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

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Nic Superfan

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CHAPTER EIGHT

 

Fezyr looked one last time at the little room he’d called home for the last three years. He felt oddly sad and couldn’t figure out why. This was what he’d always wanted. His dream had come true.

Oli came and patted his back. “You got all your stuff, son?”

“Yeah…I do,” the young mechanic hung his head.

“What’s the matter, boy?”

“I…I’m gonna miss ya Oli. You been like a dad to me. I feel like I’m lettin’ you down.” Fezyr’s eyes were suddenly wet.

“Fez, you have done nothing but talk about this moment ever since I’ve known you.  This is your shot! We all knew this day was coming.”

“Yeah but now that it’s here, well heck Oli, it’s hard to say good-bye.”

“Is it good-bye?  Are you leaving the galaxy? Where’re you going to work out of boy?”

“The Betti. That’s gonna be our home from now on. Don’t plan to go galaxy hopping just yet…wanna get some flight hours in. Prolly work outa this system for a while.”

“Well, see? It’s not like we aren’t gonna see each other!  I plan to hire you to do some supply runs for me.  As a matter of fact, I need some parts from the Haka system. You up for your first run?”

Fezyr brightened. “Sure. Gimme a list, I’ll get ‘em for ya.” A young Dyzaali boy came in with a duffel bag over his shoulder. Fez looked at him. “That yer new mechanic?”

“Oh yes. I learn quickly. I’m staying with Dyzaali folk in my shop. Divad, this is Fezyr.”

“Hey, man,” the youth said.

“Hey.” Fezyr watched him stow his gear. “Listen…you take good care of this man, y’hear? He’s the best.”

“I plan to. But one day I’m gonna have my own ship and I’m gonna head out.”

“Don’t that sound familiar!” Fezyr laughed. He hugged Oli tight. “So long, old man.”

“Come with me. I’ll give you that list of supplies and a credit voucher.”

“Good t’meetcha Divad,” Fezyr said.

“Feelin’s mutual, dude.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Once the Betti was sitting out in the public space just off the station. Mook took the paper Oli had given Fez.

“Okay,” Mook said as he read the list. “This’ll be easy. We can get all this on the shuttle.  Small stuff mostly.”

“Okay Betti, we’re needin’ a jump terminal headed out toward the Haka system.”

That’ll be Jump Terminal 457. Setting course. Shall I mosey on over there, Fez? Betti asked looking over Mook’s shoulder.

“Yes ma’am, Miss Betti,” Fezyr said, taking his chair. “As soon as I git clearance.”

Mook sat his seat and swivelled to look at Pockets. “Cop a squat, bro.”

Pockets took his place at the communications console. “I’m good.”

“Open me a line,” Fez said.

“You got it.”

“This is the Mean Betti to flight control.”

Go ahead Mean Betti.

We’re headin’ to Jump Terminal 457 headed to Ipalya in the Haka system. Pickin’ up some parts fer The Fixit Station and Oli Knutz.

You’re cleared for that, you’ll be third in the queue to go through. Admiral says to tell you Good journey.

“Thassa gotcha on my end. Betti you got the con. Take us on outa here.”

Pockets came over to them with an odd expression on his young face.

“What’s up?” Mook asked.

The younger Nere held out another empty F-Rat pouch.

Fez looked at it and stood. “You know wut?” he said, his voice low. “I think we done got us a stowaway.”

“Fez we don’t have time to hunt for them, we’re practically to the Jump Terminal. We’ll have to find them after the jump.” Mook said equally low.

Fez nodded and sat back down. “Go check weapons locker real quick-like, Pockets. Make sure nothin’s missin’.”

“Got it,”Pockets said.

Fez frowned. “Betti how come ya didn’t tell we had a stowaway?”

I can sense nothing out of the ordinary, the intruder must be using a jammer.

Fez rubbed his chin. “Jammer makes him invisible, right?”

To me, yes Fezyr.

“Okay. Do this for me, scan th’ship for life forms and metal and find the one place you can’t see nothin’ at all. Kinda like a hole…”

You are very clever for a biological unit, Fezyr.

“I bet you say that to all the spacer boys.”

Only to my own spacer boys.

The three guys grinned at each other.

After a moment, as they pulled into the queue, Betti said, I have found such an anomaly in cabin 5 starboard.

“Busted,” Fez said under his breath. “Thanks Betti.”

Anything for my boys.

“What do you wanna do?”  Mook asked.

“Can’t do nuthin’ ‘til we’re through,” Fez said. “Then we’ll go get ‘im and drop ‘em off on Ipalya.”

Mook nodded. Pockets came back and said, “Nothing missing from weapons. I locked the door.”

“Okay, buckle in for jump, kid.” Mook told his brother.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“We’re next,” Mook said. “Everybody ready?”

“Yep.” Fez said.

“Me, too,” Pockets replied.

“Now Pockets, I know you never been through one a’these,” Mook told him. “Gonna make you feel a little queasy the first coupla times.”

“I can handle it. Thanks for the heads up, Mook.”

“Yeah just be glad you ain’t a Bastaani,” Fez laughed. “Jump messes with their inner ear, makes ‘em sick as s***. They hafta take pills before they jump. I think it messes with Elvies too.”

“Wonder what our Stowaway is,” Mook said to Fez.

“Well if he’s Bastaani or Elvie, we’ll know right soon.”

Mean Betty. Advance to Jump Terminal.

“Aye-aye,” Mook responded.

In three, two, one…

Betti entered the terminal and shot into jump space. The boys all swiveled their chairs and looked down the hall to cabin 5. Pockets rubbed his stomach and grimaced a little.

They didn’t have long to wait, the cabin door flew open and a young Bastaani staggered out and stumbled into the latrine.

“Well…” Fez looked at his crew. “That was easy. We got us a pussy-cat.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Once they came out of jump, the boys unbuckled and strolled to the latrine. They leaned in the doorway and observed said Bastaani, draped over the toilet.

“How you feelin’?” Fezyr asked.

“I…I don’t know what happened…I was fine then all of a sudden I got sick,” the cat said miserably. “I think I’m dying.”

The crew laughed. “You’re not dying, we just went through a Jump Terminal. Heard they give you guys a hard time.” Mook said.

“Oh.” The cat lifted his head. “So I’ll live?”

“Yep,” Fezyr said pulling him up. “Fer a few minutes anyway.”

“Please don’t hurt me,” The Bastaani said. “I didn’t mean any harm…”

“Why’dja stowaway on our ship?” Fez asked. “Yer a rich kid by the cut of yer clothes. Why couldn’t cha just buy a ticket somewheres.”

“I couldn’t. They’re watching all the ports.”

“What’s your name, boy?” Pockets asked.

“Tehah. Tehah G’Lered.”

“G’Lered?” Mook said. “That’s the family name of the Bastaani Ambassador to the Federation.”

“My father,” the young cat said miserably.

“Great!  That’s just great! Now they’re gonna think we kidnapped this kid!” Fezyr roughly pulled him closer by the collar. “I oughta ransom yer ass! Or kill it!”

“Please don’t hurt me, Captain Sphenglys. I just needed to get away!”

“Wut’s so f***in’ tough about yer life, rich kid? What’re you runnin’ from?”

“Everything,” Tehah said. “Everything my father is.”

Fezyr sat him down at a table in the lunch nook off the galley. “Talk.”

“You think being rich is everything? You think we don’t have problems? My father wants me to follow in his footsteps. Be some suit, some ambassador, spend my life on politics behind a desk. It’s not what I want. My life should be my own.”

“What do you want?” Pockets asked.

“I wanted to join the academy, I wanted to be like Murfee Maguffyn.”

When Mook and Pockets looked at Fez he said, “Captain of the OGF Explorer Class starship, theVenture.” He supplied. “He was the first Bastaani starship captain in the fleet.”

“But my father forbade it. So…”

“So you ran away,” Fez finished for him.

“Please don’t make me go back. If you ransom me, he’ll block any way I have to get away. I’d sooner be dead!”

“So you wanted to become a starship captain?” Fez asked.

“That might have been nice, but mainly I just wanted to get out here. I wanted to serve on a ship that travelled to other worlds. I want to see what’s out there, explore the galaxy.” The cat’s voice became excited.

“What’re we gonna to with him, Fez?” Pockets asked. “He sure should have a right to pick his own destiny. And we’re not kidnappers!”

“Dude, that’s what you did when you stowed away on my freighter years ago. You took off for the stars.”

“Please let me go with you, I’ll work hard! I’ll do anything you want me to! Please!”

“We gotta help him, Fez! He’s like us!” Pockets said.

Fez rubbed his hands down his face. “You’d have to pull your own weight like we do. You’d have to work hard, live hard.”

Tehah nodded hopefully. “Anything!”

Fez shook his head. “Another f***in’ mouth to feed,” he said with exasperation as he got up and went to the Con.

“Yaaaaaaay!” Pockets cried.

“What?” Tehah asked looking from Aybaali to the other.

“You just got hired, kid,” Mook said.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fez was sitting at one of tables eating when Tehah approached him. “Can I sit with you?” Fezyr shrugged, that wasn’t a no, so Tehah sat at the table with him. “Can I ask you a question.”

“Don’t see how I can stop ya,” Fez said.

“Well, if you told me to shut up and go away, I would do both.”

“Yeah, shut up and go away,” Fez said.

Tehah sighed and got up, Fez grabbed his wrist.  The Bastaani looked at the large hand around his arm. “What do you want me to do, Cap?”

“Sit down, Puss…I just wanted t’see if you was gonna do what you said,” Fez told him.

“What did you call me?”

“Puss. Is that okay?” Fez asked taking a sip of his ale.

Tehah thought about it, “Will that be my name, like Pockets and like Mook?”

“Yeah.”

“Puss. I like it,” The Bastaani laughed.

“Puss the ship’s cat.” Fezyr said. “What’d you wanna to ask?”

“You said we were going to Ipalya in this system?”

“Yep.”

“How soon will we get there?”

“By my reckonin’, late tomorrow afternoon. Don’t know what time it’ll be there, we may hafta cool our heels a bit til we can get what’s on the list.”

“List?”

Fezyr pulled a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to him.

Puss looked at it for a bit. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

The Bastaani boy pointed to one of the items. “That one.”

“Part,” Fezyr said.

“What kind of part? For what?”

“It’s for workin on engines, Puss.”

Puss frowned. “You didn’t even look at the word.”

“Which one is it again?”

“This one,” Puss pointed to a different word.

Fez looked at it and shrugged. “Part fer an engine.”

“Captain…it says Ipalyan Fruit Squares.”

Fezyr shrugged. “I was just pullin yer furry little leg.”

“You can’t read can you?” Puss asked.

Fezyr’s top lip tightened.

“I noticed this morning you had Pockets read the list to you.”

“I was busy.”

“You were not busy, Captain,” Puss said. “You can’t read.”

“I read some,” Fezyr argued. “I went t’school for a while, ‘til I got bored.”

Puss nodded. “How long did it take you to get bored?”

“About a year. Maybe two.”

“So, in essence, you never really went to school.”

“Not too much…look what’s this got to do with anythin’?”

“Well, now that you’re in the transport business, you really should know how to read. There’ll be contracts and lists and bills.” Puss looked at the older boy. “I’d be honored if you’d let me teach you.”

“You can teach me to read?” Fezyr asked. “For real?”

“I’m pretty sure of it,” Puss said. “If you’ll let me.”

“He’s right, Fez,” Pockets said from the counter. “I don’t know how you got away with it this long.”

“All right. That’ll be about ‘nuff from the youngins.” Fezyr grumbled.

“All right, how about from me?” Mook asked coming into the room.

“Are you guys gangin’ up on me?”

“In a good way…” Pockets said.

“Look lets start with something easy,” Puss said. “Pull out your license.”

Fez got his wallet out and pulled out his papers. Puss looked at them and frowned. “Can you spell your name?”

“Uhm…F…E…Z…Y…R,” Fez spelled out slowly.

“That is nowhere on here,” Puss told him.

“What? My name HAS to be on there!  What’s in the name part?”

“Phaser.”

“That’s my name.”

“It’s not spelled like you told me, it’s spelled P H A S E R. Like a weapon.”  Puss handed the license to Mook.

“Oh s***, he’s right, Fez.”

“Well…what do they have as my last name?”

“It’s close, it’s Spangles.”

“Phaser Spangles. Not Fezyr Sphenglys…is it on all the paperwork?”

“Fraid so,” Mook said.

“Are you gonna blow?” Pockets asked, wanting to find something to hide under if Fez lost his s***.

“I don’t know yet,” Fez said. “Let me think on it.”

After a few moments Fez shrugged. “s*** I don’t even have me a birth certificate…these is the first papers I ever had with my name on them. I guess I’m Phaser Spangles now.” He finished his ale and looked at them. “Over, done with, gone. Fact is I kinda like it.”

“Done deal, then,” Mook said.

“But yeah, Puss, I’d be right obliged if you would teach me t’read and write,” Phaser stood and put his hand on the Bastaani’s thin shoulder. “Guess you better be with me if papers is presented, right Mook?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mook said. “You assign the kid a room yet?”

“I figure he’s used to #5, right Puss?”

“You mean I will be able to sleep in the bed instead of hide in the closet? I’d be happy to have #5. It kind of looks like…”

“…a brothel?” Mook and Phaser asked.

“Well I’ve never seen one of those; I was going to say it looked very Elvrakaani.”

“Then Trinny and Ezoe decorated that room,” Pockets said with a smile. “You’ll get to meet them in a few days, they’re workin’ girls.”

Puss grinned and sighed. “That’ll be my pleasure.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Mook winked to Phaser.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

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RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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I need to draw the boys as they really look. in full color as I did Nick as Fezyr. When I publish this, I plan to do so fully illustrated.

They're a great team.

 

Oh I did meet the 50,000 word challenge and was one of the many winners. Now I've started my werewolf story starring you-know-who.  That character name is Marrok Knight.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Puss is really sweet! It`s really NICe of him, to teach Fez how to read! And, now the secret is solved, why the title is "Phaser Spangles" instead of "Fezir Sphenglys"! biggrin

And, congratz!  Well done, Cajun! purplestarstarsmilestarry

The werewolf-story sounds like another great story!werewolf1



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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

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Nic Superfan

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Date: 2:28 PM, 12/09/12
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CHAPTER NINE

 

“Where are we going, Captain Sphenglys?” Puss asked.

“Just call me Phaze,” Phaser told him, “I don’t make nobody who lives on this ship call me that. But strangers better show some respect.”

“I’m not a stranger any more?”

“Nope. Yer the ship’s cat.  Yer crew. That said, we gotta get you authorized and what not.”

“Authroized? By whom?”

“By Miss Betti.” Phaser grinned.

“There’s a lady on the ship?”

“Yes and no. Yes, there’s a female AI, and no, she ain’t exactly a lady. And she ain’t on the ship she is the ship.”

“That’s very exciting,” Puss said, all smiles. “When?”

“Well, now I guess…” Phaser said, he swiveled in his chair and looked toward the console. “Miss Betti wouldja come join us, please, ma’am?”

“That’s the way you speak to a ship’s computer?”

“She demands respect, boy,” Phaser warned.

Puss jumped when she materialized in the chair next to him.

What can I do for you, Phaser? Who’s the little pussy cat?

“This here is Puss.”

Speak to me Bastaani.

“Hello, Miss Betti,” he cast a sideways glance to Phaser who nodded. “My name is Tehah G’Lered, but my name here is Puss.”

Function?

Again, he looked to Phaser.

“Uhm, we dunno wut he’ll be doin, yet, he just joined us. But couldja voice print him fer recognition, he’s crew. We’ll call ‘im the ship’s cat for now, although he’s right smart and he’s gonna teach me to read and write.”

Puss, Mascot, Tutor, Crew. Authorized.   Does that sound more like a ship’s computer Puss?

“It does, but I like you much better the way they programmed you. And you’re the prettiest computer I’ve ever met.”

Puss, Ship’s Mascot, Tutor for Phaser, very charming Bastaani crew member.

“Aw he’s just sweet-talkin’ ya,” Phaser laughed.

Phaser we are approaching a checkpoint bouy.

“Take care of it, wouldja Betti?”

“What’s that?” Puss asked.

“It’sa space bouy that collects data from incomin’ ships. Betti’ll exchange data with it, git a clearance fer us. Haka’s got two major civil wars goin’ on, on two differnt worlds. They keep up commerce with outsiders, but they ain’t wantin’ no gun runners.”

“Of course, that would tip the scales in one side’s favor. Unscrupulous investors could have agendas that would be harmful to the inhabitants. Have to let these things run their course.”

“s***, you may not wanna be a politico, but you sure talk like one.”

“Should I not do that?”

“Don’t never adjust yerself t’please others. Just be you. You got the smarts, kid. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Just m’big dumb mouthy self.”

“You’re smarter than you think, Phaser. Those were very wise words.” Puss smiled at him. “Being yourself is something I’ve recently come to hold dear. You give me courage to do that. I actually feel like somebody has my back for the first time ever.”

“You can take that to the bank,” Phaser nodded. “We all got each other’s backs here on the Betti.”

“For what it’s worth, given my inexperience, you can count on me to have yours, Cap.”

“Thanks, Puss. I ‘preciate that.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Phaser sat at the console jammin’ air guitar to his headphones when he felt a touch on his shoulder. He looked up into Puss’ bright expression. He pulled off the headphones and swiveled his chair around. “Watcha need sunshine?”

“I thought while we were waiting I’d start teaching you, if you want.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Miss Betti could you please help me?”

Would you like me to materialize?

“If you please.”

Betti shimmered into co-con chair.

“Can you make a holoboard I can write on?”

A panel appeared in the air. Like that?

“That’s perfect.” Puss nodded.

“Miss Betti please make cards of simple words, nouns, verbs, adverbs that have to do with space and our ship. What we do for a living?”

Be happy to. Would 100 cards do?

“Perfect,” Puss looked at Mook and Pockets. You have something I can put those in? Like a basket or box?”

“I’m on that,” Pockets said.

“Wow, you guys are makin’ this a big project.” Phaser said.

Once the words were all in the box Pockets found, Puss put it in front of Phaser. Pick out the words you recognize.

Phaser rummaged through them and found ‘ship’. “Here’s one.”

“What’s it say?”

“Ship.”

“Okay! Great!”

He started looking through again, “Got another one.”

“Read it.”

“Blaster.”

“Super.” Puss reached in a plucked out a word. “What’s this?”

“Fr…fr…that one’s too long.”

“What kind of ship are we on?” Puss asked.

“A freighter…oh!  That word is freighter.” He took it and looked at it a long time.

“What’s this word?”

Phaser looked at it, then looked at ‘freighter.’ Those letters were part of that word. “Uhmmmmm …eight?”

“Right!”

“Is that the same as the number or what you say after your eat. Like I ate.”

“The number.”

“Why the heck would you write it out when all you have to do is write the number?”

“Sometimes people write it out, you have to be able to recognize both.”

“Some people have too much f***in’ time on their hands.”

“That’s very true but you still have to learn them both.”

“I’m already gettin’ a headache.”

Betti created a new word for Puss. He looked at it and looked at Betti who smiled. He shook his head and held it up. “What does it say? Sound it out.”

“B…oo…b..s, boobs. Boobs!” Phaser grinned from ear to ear at Betti who wiggled her ample ones at him.

“Yeah he would recognize that one,” Mook said laughing. “That boy was never weened.”

That comment cracked Puss up. “Maybe you better make some more words like that Miss Betti,” he said. “They may be better for keeping his interest.”

“It’s gonna to be a looooong afternoon,” Pockets giggled and said to no one in particular.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Once the Mean Betti had been approved for orbit, Phaser, Mook, and Puss went planet side in the shuttle to pick up the supplies for Oli. Phaser let Puss do the talking and check all the paperwork they got while he and Mook loaded the shuttle with the order.

When they were done, Phaser came in and with a nod from Puss, signed the paper that showed Mean Betti Transport had picked up and paid for the goods. “Say, do you know where I can get Ipalyan Fruit Bars?” Phaser asked the shop keep.

“Sure, son. There’s a bakery about two blocks down. They make the best in town.”

“Thanks.” Phaser went out to his crew. “Two blocks thataway for the sweets, the guy said.”

They locked the shuttle and strolled along the busy walkway amidst shoppers and pedestrians. Ipalya was a pretty nice world. The city of Gimeska was one of its showplaces. Clean. Nice architecture. Pretty girls, if you got used to the extra set of arms. Phaser imagined a hug from an Ipalyan lady would be pretty impressive.

Puss hurried ahead and stopped to look in display windows while the other two boys caught up.

Phaser laughed. “He don’t get out much…”

“C’mon Phase, he’s a rich guy’s kid. Probably kept a tight leash on him. This is his first off world experience!”

“I know. I kinda think he’s funny. I like the kid. He sure is smart and fancy talkin’.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty well educated. Probably had only the best. I think he’s gonna be a real asset to the crew.”

As they made this observation, an Ipalyan girl stopped to talk to Puss about his tail. He swung it around and let her pet it. The boys could see he was explaining it to her. He also let her pet his cheek as she seemed interested in his fur. She thanked him and went on her way.

He hurried to Mook and Phaser. “Did you see? That young lady had two sets of arms. She’s an alien!”

“Well I hate to break it to you, Puss, but we’re the aliens. This is her world,” Mook laughed.

“Oh, that would be right,” Puss nodded. “Isn’t this great?!” He hurried off again.

“Hey! Stay close, Puss!” Phaser called out. He looked at Mook and shook his head. “I remember m’first time on ‘nother world. He sure is excited.”

“Have you given any thought to when we get back?  You know his dad must be lookin’ for him. What are we gonna do?”

“Well, I promised ‘im I wouldn’t turn ‘im in and I don’t break my word,” Phaser said. “He belongs to us now. Thassal there is for it, unless he decides he wants t’go back. I won’t hold him if he don’t wanna stay.” They watched as Puss marveled at another alien species.

“You see that happenin’ at all in the foreseeable future?” Mook said sideways to Phaser, not taking his eyes off the young Bastaani.

“That’d be a ‘no’.” Phaser laughed.

“Yeah me either.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“I need t’make one more stop,” Phaser told them. “Puss you come in with me.”

They entered an Apothecary and walked to the counter.

“Ah! A Dyzaali and a Bastaani, welcome! Welcome! What can I do for you today?”

“I need a bottle a’them meds for Bastaani’s. The one that stops Jump-sickness before it starts?”

“Yes, yes! I carry that one. What does the boy weigh? Here young tom, step on the scale.”

Puss did as he was told.

“Why they gotta weigh you?” Phaser asked.

“I think the medication goes by the subject’s weight, Cap. A Bastaani my size would take a lesser strength dose than one say, your size.”

“That is most correct. Very smart boy.”

“He sure is,” Phaser agreed with a smile. “We’ll need a big bottle. We’re in the transport business, I ‘spect we’ll be jumpin’ a lot.”

“As you say. Give me a moment to prepare it. Please look around while you wait.”

Phaser found the perfume and looked at the pretty bottles. “I’m thinkin’ I should get a bottle of this for m’girl.”

“You have a lady?” Puss asked.

“Well, kinda. Yeah, I’m purty fond of her. She works at Lawani’s.”

“She’s a prostitute?” Puss asked a little surprised.

“Yeah. What of it?”

“Well nothing, it’s just…”

“Wut?”

“Well doesn’t it bother you she sleeps with other people?”

“Not too much. It’s her job.  But I think I’m the only one she loves.”

“Then that’s great! What scent are you going to give her? One’s scent is very important.”

“Well…I dunno. I never bought a lady perfume before.”

“What’s she like?”

“She’s little, real soft and real sweet. She’s purty, powerful purty.”

“Then maybe something soft and sweet is what you want in a scent. Something that fits what you love about her.”

“How do I figure that out?”

“Easy,” Puss picked up a bottle and spritzed a little in the air.

“No, that’s too spicy,” Phaser wrinkled his nose.

“Try this one,” Puss repeated the action.

“Whew…that one stinks.”

“Okay, try this one.”

“Soft…kinda powdery…sweet…that’s the best so far.”

Puss set that one to the side and read some more labels. He smiled. “Here, try this one.”

Phaser wiffed and closed his eyes. He sighed and wiffed again. “That’s perfect…that’s the one. What’s it called?”

“Devotion.”

“Devotion,” Phaser said softly. “Yep that’s the one for my girl.”

“Which one is she, Cap?”

“She said she fed you the night of the party.”

“Beautiful girl with long wavy deep red hair and a pretty mouth?”

“Yep, that’s m’Sheela.”

“I think this will be perfect for her. You should buy it.”

Just as Phaser was about to agree, the shop keep came to the counter and said, “Here you are. There’s enough in here for 200 jumps. Oh, did you find something else?”

“Yessir, please add this in.” Phaser handed the man the perfume bottle.

“Excellent choice, young man. She must be someone very special.”

“You got that right. She’s purty special…to me.”

“I’ve put the perfume in a pretty gift box for you. All together that’ll be 150 Gredits.” The Shop keep was referring to Galaxy Credits which were a universal currency for Jump travelers within this galaxy.

“A hundred and fifty?” Phaser blinked.

“Fifty for the medication; one hundred for the perfume. It is imported, son. Would you prefer to find something less expensive?”

Phaser shook his head. “No…no. My Sheela is worth a hundred times that. It’s fine.” He pulled out his wallet and counted the Gredits out.

Puss watched the transaction and took the bag when it was over. They left the shop and joined Mook. “Wish I had a girl,” he said. “I’m sure my father has one all picked out for me. Joining of households and all…but I wish I could meet a girl and fall in love.”

Mook and Phaser looked at each other over his head. Phaser put his hand on Puss’ shoulder. “That’s gonna happen for ya, Puss. You’re a sweet guy, you got a lot to offer a lady.”

“You’re just a little young now,” Mook added. “Like Phaser said, it’ll happen for you. Just give it a little time.”

Puss smiled up at them. “I’ve never had such friends as you two and Pockets. I guess I stowed away on the right ship.”

“Yeah, about that…you got on the Betti at The Barge! What the heck was you doing on The Barge?” Phaser asked.

“Actually, I escaped my Cousin at the weapons show on that moon of Dyzaal. I stowed away first on the Zipper.”

“You’re the one who left the hatch loose!” Mook cried.

“How th’heck did you do that?” Phaser said.

Puss lowered his head. “One of my nannies, a man, showed me how to pick locks, even key pads.”

“No s***?!” Phaser laughed. “Now that’s what I call a proper education!!”

“But we searched The Zipper, where were you?” Mook said.

“You searched everywhere but the passenger seats. They’re storage compartments.”

“You are one clever cat,” Phaser said patting him on the back. “C’mon, lets get back to the Betti.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

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Date: 12:41 AM, 12/10/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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I'm awful at drawing mechanical things...but I wanted you to see a concept of the Mean Betti. Drawing on the computer with a mouse is like drawing with a bar of soap. Very difficult.

 

MeanBetti.png



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 2:21 PM, 12/10/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Blazing cool drawing! NICely and well done, Cajun! starsmileThanks for showing us!



__________________

"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage




Nic Superfan

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Date: 2:51 PM, 12/10/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Thank you kindly. I love her colors. The only thing missing is the nose art. Like they used to have on B52 Bombers? I imagine something like a very well endowed lady with blasters in each hand.

Hope you liked Chapter 9 as well. Working on the next one.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 3:06 PM, 12/10/12
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Indeed! Her colours fit very well to our hot, NIColicious Phaser!^^ flamingAnd, of course, I did! I`m curious, if she likes the parfum, he bought for her, and of course, how this great story continues! I like the way, Puss teaches him to read!



-- Edited by Lady Roxanne on Monday 10th of December 2012 03:08:03 PM

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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

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Date: 1:47 PM, 12/15/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Further along in the story, she's wearing it and Phaser is snarfing her. So yes, she loved it. I made the mistake of jumping ahead to write all the way to the end and the reason I haven't posted another part is that I'm working on the next chapter I'd be putting up.

 

On a totally different note...As many of you all know we had a very horrible  thing happen here int he states yesterday. I refer to the massacre in the school in connecticut. 28 people dead, 20 of them children ranging from the ages of 5 -14. After I came down from the terrible shock of hearing that news, I thought about all the people I know who have kids, who would be devastated if something happened to their kids.

And I thought about Nic for a moment, having just seen his speech about Toys for Tots and illegal gun running in the same hour. And other times he's talked about children. So apparent he loves them. It must be very frightenning in these times to be a parent. Just frightening. I got landed on with both feet by a friend who said talking about my favorite movie star at this juncture was inappropriate. I told him I wasn't talking about Nic Cage the actor. I was thinking of and talking about Nic Cage the father of a school-aged child. ANY of the people who bring us our enjoyment via the big screen, making them larger than life, are still PEOPLE. Just people.  And people in this country are pretty freaked out right now.

Sorry to go all serious.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 4:52 PM, 12/15/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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It is horrible, indeed! We heard that in the news yesterday and today, too! What a desperate man that must be, who did that in an elementary school! They are just kids! I`m sure, Nic was shocked too, as he heard the news (as I`m sure, he had)! That are terrible news, right around christmas (which should be a time of joy)! Thank you, Cajun, for talking about that!



__________________

"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage




Nic Superfan

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Date: 6:16 PM, 01/11/14
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES TO BE PUBLISHED WITH ILLUSTRATIONS IN SPRING OR SUMMER OF 2014!

Enough folks have asked me to do this, so I guess I'm going to HAVE to! LOL.

When one lays out a novel, since all chapters start on an odd page, sometimes the page before it is blank. Wherever this occurs in TGAPS I will be putting in an illustration. I may also choose to drop an illustration in the middle of a chapter depending on the scene.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 6:19 PM, 01/11/14
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That`s NICtastic news! Looking forward to it! I enjoyed reading the story, you posted here in this thread!^^

__________________

"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage


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