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Post Info TOPIC: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES


Nic Superfan

Status: Offline
Posts: 136
Date: 6:58 PM, 11/19/12
THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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This topic will include cover and chapters from my latest novel. The one that I'm writing for NaNoWriMo. I welcome comments.  Because during the writing month in this event, we are not allowed to edit, you will be reading first draft unedited. For that I apologize.

 

THEGALAXYCOVERnano.png

The cover mock up

 

THE CAST

 

Fezyr Spenglys/Phaser Spangles.............................................Nic Cage (circa Valley Girl/The Boy in blue)

                   Culam (Mook) Nere.............................................................Callum Keith Rene (circa Twitch City/Paris Somewhere)

      Delvin (Pockets) Nere..........................................................DJ Qualls (circa The New Guy after makeover) 

      Loxlie Volo...........................................................................Andrew McCarthy (circa Weekend at Bernie's)

                  Marz Struther......................................................................Mark Blankfield (circa Jekyll and Hyde Together again)

Tehah (Puss) Glered............................................................Heath Ledger (circa A Knight's Tale)          

     Brudno (Bru) Ceri................................................................Eric Burdon (circa 1965)                                  

Balfro (Bal)..........................................................................Eric Balfour (Circa Haven)                          

 

I have always cast my stories for me personally so I had drawing reference. You can google any of these performers names that might be unfamiliar to you.

 

TEASER

Fezyr Spenglys, Dyzaali by heritage, con artist by choice.  Have Freighter, Will Carry.

After winning a derelict Demi Class freighter in a game of chance, young Fezyr  and his team work on turning her into a profitable business tool . A small freighter, the Mihn Behti (called Mean Betti) was large enough to turn a profit with for quick runs and small loads and she was small enough to promise some maneuverability and speed if there was trouble.  Since Trouble was Fezyr’s middle name, she was perfect. With the rest of his winnings he got the proper papers (forged of course) to take up a career as a “Transport Specialist.” When he found his name has been grossly misprinted as Phaser Spangles, he decided to roll with the flow and adopts it as his alter ego.  Now fitted and repaired, the Mean Betti heads for the stars and that's where the fun begins.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

Status: Offline
Posts: 136
Date: 7:00 PM, 11/19/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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PART ONE

In which three boys meet the girl of their dreams

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

All one could see of Fezyr Sphenglys were his big booted feet sticking out from under the land speeder he was working on. Occasionally a dirty, long-fingered hand would snake out and grab the appropriate tool from a mat placed next to where he was working. Fez was employed by Owali Knutz, an Aybaali civilian, who had worked years to get a business set up on Starstation SahnDahl.  Knutz was a good boss with a real soft spot for Fezyr, even though the kid was a bit of a trouble magnet. He was a top mechanic; it was in his Dyzaali DNA. They say a Dyzaali infant teethes on engine components. What this kid could do to an engine was beyond explanation. Even the Federation shop borrowed him occasionally and many times, all unsuccessful, tried to get him to sign up to academy.

Fez wasn’t having it. He wasn’t interested in the OmniGalactic Federation or in the life-style of being a Feddie, as he called them.  He bore the establishment no ill will, mind you. Fact was, quite a few of his close friends were Feddies. But he was too unpredictable, short-fused and free spirited to settle into being ‘owned’ by the military. No, eighteen-year-old Fez had his own plans. One day he was going to own some kind of ship and he was going to head for the wild black yonder. His heart was out in the stars, he just had to get the rest of himself out there as well.

He’d run away from home when he was twelve, right after his father’s death in a shoot-out. His mother long gone and no one left to care for him, he decided to care for himself and stowed away on a deep-space bound freighter. When he’d been discovered by the then Ship’s Second, instead of being dropped off at the nearest port, he was kept on and given work to pay for his passage.

The Second was one Culam Nere, who took a shine to this kid with his longing for space. Fezyr worked for them five years and learned quite a bit about piloting from Culam.

When they’d put into SahnDahl Starstation Culam left the freighter and went home to check on his little brother, Pockets. He took Fez along with thoughts to invest in his own ship and have the kid as part of his crew.  But things got in the way, money got frittered and that hadn’t happened yet. So Fezyr – loathe to return to Dyzaal and its pollution – got a job working as a mechanic in Knutz’s garage. Even though he was station bound, he did like the work. But it was only a means to an end.

He reached out for the micro welder and found his hand on a boot. “Whozat?”

“It’s me Fez,” Loxlie Volo said. “Come out from under there for a minute.”

Fez rolled out from under the speeder and looked up at his fellow Dyzaali. “Man, is this your weekly attempt to get me to go to academy? Cuz the answer’s still no. Hey, Marz. Phiz.”

Marz Struther, who’d accompanied Loxlie, held a finger up in greeting. Phizbyn, Marz’s knee high Froglodyte nodded. “Bez,” he said in his own manner. Froglodytes don’t have lips.

Fez stood up, towering over Volo and most certainly over the smaller Struther.

“No. I got some news for you,” Loxlie said. “Come with us.”

“Oli! Can I have five?”

“Sure. Go get something to eat, Kid. Take 30.” Owali called from the back.

“Hey, Okay!” Fez said. “Bonus!”

“Come on,” Loxlie said, “We’ll take you over to the Nose Dive and buy you lunch.”

“I thought only Fed pilots could go in there, I’m just a lowly civvy,” Fez said with a grin, wiping the grease off his hands.

“We can bring a date,” Lox laughed.

“OOooooo!” Fez said batting his dark lashes at his friend.

“Come on,” Volo said, “before I change my mind, ya jerk.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

Seated at a table near a window that overlooked the civilian docking bays, the three young men enjoyed their lunch. Fez’s urdaburger was gone in a blur, now he casually munched on his side of fried tangi roots and took the occasional sip of his large mongoberry shake.

“Did you even taste that?” Marz asked, amused.

Fez nodded, “I like the taste right enough, but I don’t like the wigglin’ urda. So I eat it fast.” His gaze finally left his plate and scanned out the window. That’s when he saw…her.

Loxlie and Marz looked at each other and shared a secret smile. “Whatcha looking at?” Lox asked.

“That beat up demi out there, what’s her story?”

“I heard some guy from another system bought her years ago and ran her into the ground. Now he’s brought her back to sell for scrap.” Loxlie explained. “The Admiral wants her moved. She’s been docked there for a week. Total eyesore.”

“Why don’t he just get rid of it?”  Fez asked.

“I think it’s a cash flow situation,” Loxlie said.

“I heard he’s getting up a game tonight to see if he can win enough to have her towed and demoed,” Marz told him.

“Huhn. She’s one a’those mini freighters you can only get on Bastaan,” Fez mused. “Late model.”

“Uh huh,” Loxlie said.

“Wish I could see inside her.” Fez hadn’t taken his eyes off the ship since he first saw her.

“Well, I happen to know Cagon Fu is on that gate for security. She’s a derelict…can’t see how there’d be a problem with you looking at her.”

“Cagon Fu?!” Fezyr laughed. “That little guy couldn’t guard the open end of a paper bag!”

“Like I said,” Lox shrugged. “She’s a derelict. Not much to guard. He’s probably just there to make sure nothing comes off the thing and floats into the flight lanes. Finish your fries and we can go take a look at her.”

“Color me done,” Fez said pushing his plate away and picking up his shake. “Let’s motivate.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“What you doin’ here, you Dyzaali boys? You go way. Cagon security!” Cagon Fu cried. This being, a member of the Zegga race, was almost as small as Phizbyn but three times as wide and shaggy with one little undulating antenna on the top of his head.

“Take it easy Cagon, my friend here would like to have a look at the ship,” Loxlie said.

“No! You go now! Cagon security. “Cagon has job to do. Dyzaalis go now.”

“He’s not going to steal it, Cagon! He might offer to buy it from your bossman. That would be good for Cagon.  Very good for Cagon.”

The Zegga thought about this for many minutes.

“Look, Cagon, I’m on my lunch break, man. How bout you let me in that ship and I don’t bounce your round little hairy ass out the air lock?” Fez said.

With an alarmed expression, Cagon backed away. “You go in Dyzaali boy. You no touch things. You no push buttons.”

“You got it, short stuff,” Fez said and brushed past him. “Why don’t you come on in with me to watch me. See I don’t do nuthin’ wrong.”

“Cagon no trust Dyzaali boy. Cagon no want air lock.”

Fez stopped and turned to look down on the little alien. “I won’t put you out the airlock. I just said that to git your attention.” He knelt down and reached out to the Zegga, who took one step back. “Comere.” Fez said. “Fez won’t put Cagon in the air lock. What would the Starstation be without Cagon’s smarts?”

Cagon stood as tall as his stubby legs would allow and made a trilling sound. This was a Zegga happy sound.

“Come on, shorty, show me around,” Fez said, standing. He gave an amused look to Loxlie.

“Cagon show. Big Dyzaali follow Cagan.”

As they stepped into the ship, the first thing Fezyr noted was the relatively good condition of the control panels. Sure the seats were a little worn, easy fix. “I gotta open this hatch, Cagon. I gotta look at ‘er rods and coils.”

Cagon gestured with a chubby paw indicating his permission.

Fezyr opened the floor hatch and lowered himself into the maintenance compartment.  After studying the ship’s engine and power rods, he came out and looked at Marz and Loxlie. “She’d need some work, but I could do it. I could git Mook and Pockets to help me.” He shook his head, “But I got no coin. No savins’. Even if she’s a derelict, I ain’t got the money he’d get selling her for scrap.”

Loxlie looked at Marz. “We talked it over, we don’t have the funds to help you buy her, but we do have enough between us to get you a stake in that game tonight. What do you say?”

“I might lose it all,” Fez said. “But I’d pay ya back.”

“You’re good for the risk, Fez. You always pay your debts.” Marz told him.

“Well I appreciate that,” Fez said, tossing an errant lock of his shaggy red-black hair out of his eyes with a jerk of his head. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Cagon Fu is happy for big Dyzaali boy. Cagon will make gru to Paxis, god of good fortune, for big Dyzaali boy to win Mihn Behti.”

“Thanks Cagon,” Fez said. “I owe you one.” Fez blinked. “Wait, wut?’

“Ship is called Mihn Behti.”

“Yeah? Well if all goes like it should, it’ll Mine Behti.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

After work, but before the game, Fez sat with his friends Culam – whom he called Mook – after the Mookeh candy the Aybaali man loved so much and his little brother, Pockets. Likie his little brother, Mook’s skin was golden and his hair green.

“This is the first time I even have a chance at a ship,” Fez told them. “I gotta take it!”

“You’ll get no argument from me,” Mook said. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“You’re gonna win ‘er, Fez,” Pockets said. “And when ya do, I’ll go over her computer for ya! And I’m signing on as crew.”

Mook laughed. “That’ll be both of us, Kid.”

“See now, I gotta win ‘er,” Fezyr said emphatically. “I got me a crew already!”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“So you got this kid all hyped up to gamble for the ship?” Fotadi asked.

“Yep. He fell for it.  All we had to do was show him the ship and his eyes lit up like the Lights of Romus,” Loxlie said. “We’re fronting him the stake. Of course you have to make it look good. I mean before you throw the game.”

“You know you’re going to get your boy saddled with a debt he’ll probably never be able to get out of, right? The cost to transport and demo that ship that size is extremely high. Not even worth selling for the scrap, wouldn’t even dent to bill to demo her.”

“I owe him one,” Loxlie told him.

“He must’ve pissed you off royally, airman, for you to do this to him.”

“I owe him one,” Loxlie repeated.

“Well consider it done; you’ll get your investment back. I’ll make sure the kid wins that piece of space garbage.”

Volo smiled, turned and strolled away.

Marz looked at him as they walked down the corridor. “You are so good at what you do.”

“I come by it honestly. My brother Possym always says ‘there’s a sucker born every two and a half seconds and if you’re smart, you can take ‘em. I owe Fez, and he’s finally gonna get what he deserves.”

Marz shook his head and followed his friend to the lift.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

 

Fez stood outside the lounge and stared in at the well dressed guy sitting at the far table.  Pockets looked around his shoulder and swallowed, green eyes wide with concern. “You think you can take ‘im, Fez?”

“Dunno,” Fez whispered back. “I’m sure gonna try.”

“What’re they playing?” Mook asked from the other side of him. “I can’t see.”

“Looks like Prika.”

“If it’s prika, you got him, Kid. I never met anybody who could play that game better than you,” Mook patted his back.

“Fezyr!” Came a voice from behind.

Fez turned to see Lox and Marz standing by a bulkhead in the corridor. He walked out to them. Lox pulled out an envelope and handed it to his taller friend. “Now listen, he’s got two other guys palying,” Lox said. “I figure, the way you play, those guys are going to fold once it gets too rich for their blood.”

Fez nodded.

“If you play your disks right, you could come away with some serious cash AND a freighter.”

“I could lose, y’know,” Fez told him.

“Not going to happen,” Loxie shook his head. “You’re leaving here with the title to a ship, tonight.”

“How can ya be so sure?”

“We’ll talk more after the game, okay? Now get in there and win your ship.” Loxlie told him.

When Fez went back to the doorway, Marz looked up through his raven curls at Lox. “You know the more I think about it, the more I feel like we’re doing something very wrong.”

“Look, Marz,” Lox said. “The guy wants to get rid of the ship, right?”

“Yes.”

“He doesn’t care how, he just wants to be out from under the responsibility and expense to scrap her legally.”

“Right. So then why didn’t we tell Fezyr?”

“Cuz he’s just a kid and he’d be too cool if he knew he was going to win. This way he’s gonna sweat a little.”

“But I don’t understand, why scam the guy at all?”

“Fez isn’t going to scrap the ship. He’s going to put some good old Dyzaali elbow grease in her and make her space worthy again.”

“I know that.”

“Sure you do, but if that guy KNEW Fez could do that, he wouldn’t gamble the ship, he’d sell it to him for more than it’s worth and skin him. Worse he’d find someone else who could meet his price.” Lox looked at Marz’s dubious expression. “Look this is just a little hustle. In the end everybody gets what they want. Mr. Moneybags gets out from under the demo bill and Fez get’s his life’s dream. Even if he can’t get her going, he got her for free and his uncle Vilch will take her to his scrap yard for parts. Everybody’s happy. The end.”

“Doesn’t he know about Dyzaalis?” Marz asked.

“That’s the whole beauty of this plan,” Lox laughed. “He’s not from around here.”

“That is very devious, Loxlie Volo,” Marz wagged a finger at his friend.

“Why thank you,” Loxlie grinned.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fez approached the table cautiously, hands in pockets.

“What do you want kid?” One of the gamblers asked.

“I want in,” Fezyr responded softly.

“What? Speak up, sweetheart, you can’t find your mamma?”

“I want in,” Fez repeated stronger.

“Son, this game’s too rich for you,” the second gambler said. “Go find the kiddy table.”

“How ‘bout I put you under this table?” Fezyr said his temperature rising.

The man stood slowly. He leveled his gaze attempting to chill the starch out of Fezyr.

Fezyr gave as good as he got, returning the even stare, unblinking. His dark garnet gaze was smoldering.

“Dyzaali f***, you’re not going to bloody make it to 30 if you cross swords with me.”

“Boys, Boys,” Fotadi said. “No trouble tonight. Agar if the kid wants to gamble, let him.”

The one called Agar, a big brute of a Britanian man with a square jaw and fists like iron clubs, slowly sat down, his eyes still locked with Fezyr’s. “Yeah Govner, as you say.”

“You have the buy in, boy?” Fotadi asked.

“Yeah,” Fezyr put his money on the table. “Am I in or what?”

“Have a seat…er…”

“Fezyr. Sphenglys.” Fez sat next to the Britanian. “Hey…Agar…why don’t you chill out and try and win my money.”

“It’d be my pleasure.”

Fezyr nodded to everyone at the table and took his jacket off. “Let’s rumble.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

In the next two hours, Mook watched closely as the game progressed.  Pockets had fallen asleep with his head on the table. At first Fez was loosing, softening them up. Then he began to win. And win. And win. Finally Agar threw his disks on the table and folded with a colorful expletive.

“Pleasure doing bizness with ya,” Fez said with a grin.

Agar growled at him and stomped off.

Moments later the other man, folded as well, but with a bit more grace. “Too rich for my blood, Fotadi.”

Now it was between Fezyr and Fotadi. They played furiously for another hour.

Finally Fez took his shot and went all in.

Fotadi leaned back. “I can’t cover that,” he said. “Let me make a call.”

“Sure.”

After a moment, Fotadi came back to the table and sat. “Links are down.”

“Hm…hate to see you fold, sir…don’t you have anything you can bring to the table?”

“Afraid not, boy.” Fotadi said, then he held up a hand. “Wait…I do have this…” He pulled out a paper and put it on the table.

“Wassat?”

“It’s the title to a ship I have docked here. I’m bringing it in to scrap it…would you consider letting me wager it?”

Fezyr rubbed his chin putting on a good show of being deep in thought. Finally he nodded. “Yeah…you can put that in. Whatcha got?”

Fotadi laid out his hand. “Read them and weep, boy.”

Fez looked at the disks and nodded, then laid his own hand out. “Need some tissues?”

Fotadi leaned back. “Well I really must say, you play a mean game of prika, son.”

“Sign it,” Fezyr said tapping the title with a long index finger.

“Of course,” Fotadi pulled out a light pen and signed the document. He turned it around, “Now you, boy.” He handed Fez his pen.

Fezyr made a show of looking at it, then signed his name in his almost unreadable scrawl.

Fotadi stood and shook his head. “Well. You’re now the proud owner of a worthless piece of crap.”

“One man’s crap is another man’s treasure,” Fezyr said, also standing. He signaled Mook to help him with the winnings, so his friend pulled his little brother’s cap off waking him.

“Is it over?” Pockets asked sleepily.

“We got us a ship,” Mook whispered. “Fez took them to the cleaners.” He went and gathered the winnings from the table and handed Fez the title.

“You’re looking at a pretty big bill for legal disposal of it,” Fotadi said. “I hope you know that, boy.”

“Well, as luck would have it, my uncle owns a scrap yard, so it wouldn’t cost me nothin’,” Fezyr said, “if I was gonna scrap her.”

“You can’t be thinking you can refurbish her!”

“Nope. I’m knowin’ I can,” Fezyr grinned. “Don’t you know nothin’ about Dyzaalis, sir?”

“Can’t say as I do.” Fotadi put his hat on his head. “I’ll bid you goodnight.”

“And a very good night to you, Mr. Fotadi. Come back again when you have more money you wanna let go of.”

Mook and Pockets watched the guy leave.

Fez held up the title. “Boys, we got us a ticket to the stars.”

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

Fez sat up on his cot and stretched. Today was his day off and he was eager to get into his ship.  He paused. His ship. His. It was like a dream come true.

Oli poked his head through the curtain. Fez’s accomodation was an old storage room in back of the garage bay. “Kid, Admiral Gardwyne wants to see you…”

“Admiral Gardwyne…why?”

“Something about your garbage? What did you go and do.”

“I won a demi class freighter last night, Oli.” Fezyr said, pulling his shirt on.

“Not that piece of crap parked on dock 22!”

“The very one.”

“What’re you going to do with it?”

“What do you think? I’m gonna bring her back to life.”

“Did you give any thought to where you were going to do that, boy?”

“Sure I did!  My uncle said I could dock her off his maintenance rig.”

“And how are you going to get it there?”

“Well a tow, I guess.”

“Do you know what a tow to Dyzaal would cost?!”

“No.” Fezyr pulled on his beat up work boots. “But I figure you’re gonna tell me.”

“Go see the Admiral, kid. We’ll talk later. You need to be sitting down for this.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fezyr stepped in to the Admiral’s office, cap in hand. “Admiral Gardwyne, you wanted to see me?”

“Fezyr, how are you, lad?”

“Uhm pretty good. Am I in trouble?”

“I hear you had an interesting night. Won yourself a freighter.”

“Yes sir.”

“Well now, congratulations. And when do you plan to move said freighter from its present mooring?”

“I’m lookin’ into that right now, Admiral. I’m anxious to start working on her. My Uncle, Vilch Sphenglys, has a maintenance vessel orbiting Dyzaal. I was plannin’ on gettin’ her over that way, but his orbit won’t swing close to this side of Dyzaal for another coupla days.”

“Mm.” The admiral lit his pipe. “Are you aware that we’ve had many complaints about your ship? A bit of an eye sore.”

“Well, she’s only been my ship for about 6 hours sir.”

“That may be, but the problem is still there. How do you propose to get the vehicle to your uncle?”

“Well I gotta work on that, sir. If I could just have a few days to git that all taken care of, I sure would be grateful.” Fez looked down, then up again with his most endearing smile. “Til then I guess I could put a few ribbons on ‘er to pretty ‘er up.”

The admiral chuckled. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll give you four days, then it must be moved.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll git her moved by then.” Fezyr stood.

“When are you going to come to the Federation, Fezyr?”

“With all due respect, sir, that’d be never.”

“Ah well, can’t blame an old soldier for trying, eh?” The admiral stood and held out his hand. “Good journey, then.”

Fezyr shook the offered hand. “Thank you for the extra time, sir.”

Gardwyne walked the young Dyzaali to the door. “And you really think you can get her flight worthy again, do you?”

“I sure intend to try sir.”

“Well best luck to you, lad. If anyone can do it, it will most certainly be you. Remember now, four days.”

“Four.” Fezyr nodded. “Four days.”

*   *   *   *   *

 

“And I only got four days to move her,” Phaser was saying as Loxlie walked up.

“That from Admiral Gardwyne?” Lox asked.

“Yeah. Oh hey, I got your money, man.”

“Nah.”

“No really, I got it!”

“Me and Marz want you to hold on to it and use it towards repairs. Pay us back when you start making a living with her.”

“You’re kiddin’!” Fez jumped up and pulled lox into a bearhug. “Thank you guys SO much!”

“All right, don’t go all touchy feely on me, Fez! You’re not my type.” Loxlie laughed patting his back.

From somewhere in the back of the lounge a voice called out. “Get a room!”

“Get a life!” Volo yelled back. He sat at Fezyr’s table. “So how’re you gonna get her moved, Fez.”

“I don’t know yet,” Fezyr sighed. “My uncle will lemme work on her at his barge, but he won’t come get her.”

“What about Oli?” Pockets asked.

“I can’t ask that of him. He’s done too much for me already.”

“When does the orbit bring the barge around?”

“In two or three days.”

“Huhn.” Loxlie said. “Let me look at the duty roster and see if a shuttle is heading to Dyzaal any time soon. Could be we could tractor her.”

“Admiral ain’t gonna let us use no military shuttle to move my civvy junker,” Fezyr said.

“Yeah, you just never know. The Gardwyne is unpredictable, but he’s a really good guy.”

“Well if you think he’d okay it, yeah look into it.”

Mook came up to the table and leaned in to the guys. “You know what that creep Fotadi did?”

“Wut?” Fezyr asked.

“He f***in’ skipped without paying the docking fee OR paying little Cagon.”

“He skipped on the docking fee?  What is that for a week?”

“More than we’ve got, that’s for sure.” Mook said.

“I got my winnins’ from last night and Lox told me to keep the loan til we’re up and running. Is that gonna burn up all our cash?”

“Don’t you pay that guy’s debt,” Loxlie said. “You start paying as of last night. Let ‘em put out a beacon for that b******.”

“I better go talk to the dock manager, where’s Cagon?”

“Little guy won’t leave his post. Believes Fotadi will come back.”

“Well, I’m gonna pay him then. Can’t be that much, he can be my gate security now.” Fezyr stood. “Guess I better go get this took care of.”

“I’ll go with you, Fez. You may need somebody to back you up.” Loxlie stood and followed his young friend.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“Look Haller, I won the ship last night. I’ll pay for that dockin’ space from last night til I move ‘er. I ain’t paying the other guys bill.”

“Then the ship must be moved today. Now. Or I shall take it in forfeit for the bill.”

“Look here, I got my title, ain’t his name and company on there? She was one a’his freighters.”

“Of course it is; it’s right in front of your eyes.”

“And now it’s right in front a’yours,” Fezyr said. “You can go after him for the bill.”

“Such transactions between systems are very difficult and expensive. Why should I pursue him when I have you, here and now?”

Fez’s temperature was beginning to rise, Loxlie could see it. “Look,” he interceded. “I can appreciate your position but it’s just wrong for you to hold Mr. Sphenglys responsible for Mr. Fotadi’s expenses. Fezyr has offered to pay for yesterday, even though yesterday was almost over by the time the ship was his. And he’s offering you cash in advance for the next few days. If I were you I’d sure take that.”

“Well, you’re not me, young man,” Haller said.

“Okay…I guess I’ll have to take this to Uncle Cyril, then,” Loxlie shrugged.

“Un…you’re the Dyzaali nephew of Admiral Cyril Gardwyne.”

“Yep Jazyn Gardwyne is my cousin and so’s Fezyr.”

“Well that does put a different slant on things. All right. Give me your payment, boy and let me get Fotadi’s information from your title. I’m sorry we had a misunderstanding. I hope you won’t mention this trouble to your uncle, the Admiral.”

“What trouble?” Fezyr said sweetly, batting his lashes.

After the deal was done, Loxlie and Fezyr quit the office and headed down the corridor. When they were a good distance away, Fezyr cleared his throat. “Y’know, if the Admiral gets wind a’what we just said in there, our asses are cooked.”

“Yep,” Loxlie agreed.

They looked at each other with ‘uh-oh’ face, then both broke into gales of laughter.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“Bossman Fotadi is gone for good? No pay for Cagon Fu?” The hairy little Zegga asked, his expression fretful.

“Yep Bossman Fotadi is gone for good. BUT there is pay for Cagon, cuz Fezyr’s gonna pay Cagon,” Sphenglys patted the little creature’s head, careful not to hit the antenna.

The Zegga trilled happily.

“Would Cagon work for Fezyr? Watch the Mihn Behti while she’s docked here, for Fezyr?” The tall Dyzaali asked.

“Dyzaali Fezyr would be Bossman Fezyr?

“Yep.”

“No airlock for Cagon Fu?”

“No airlock, not ever. Cagon Fu would be Bossman Fezyr’s head of security fer now.”

“Cagon Fu accepts new job as head of security for Bossman.”

Fezyr pulled out his cash. “How much did Fotadi owe ya?”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fezyr sat sprawled on the wait room couch in the Admiral’s office, his long legs crossed at the ankles. He looked up as Loxlie walked in. Loxlie stopped in his tracks and looked at his friend, then at the Admiral’s closed office door. “Uhoh,” they said simultaneously.

“Why are you here?” Lox asked.

“I was summoned,” Fez said a little wide-eyed. “You?”

“Same.”

“Uhoh,” they chorused again.

The Admiral’s Yoeman came to the door, “The Admiral will see you now.”

“Both of us?” Loxlie asked.

“Both of you.”

“At the same time?” Fez looked nervous.

“At the same time.”

“We are in IT!” Loxlie said under his breath as they went in.

“Ah. Gentlemen, have a seat, won’t you?”

The two Dyzaali sat in the chairs that had been placed in front of the desk especially for this occation.

“Would you like a sweet?” Gardwyne held a box of candies forward.

“No…no thank you, Admiral, sir.” Loxlie said.

Gardwyne moved the box in front of Fezyr who mutely shook his head negatively. “No?  How about a brandy?” Putting down the box, he tapped the lid of a decanter.

“Sir?!” Loxlie’s voice cracked.

“Oh hey, yeah, a brandy sounds real good!” Fez held his hand out.

Loxlie slapped it down.

Gardwyne stood and Slowly walked around behind the boys. “Well what can I offer such…” he put a hand on a shoulder of each young man and leaned in between them. “…such lovely nephews.”

            “We can explain…”

“It was all my fault…” Fezyr said.

“He cheated the Zegga, he ran out on the docking bill…” Loxlie blurted.

“Was gonna charge me for Fotadi’s bill and…

“Was going to make Fez pay Fotadi’s debt or take his ship!”

“…we didn’t mean nothin’ by it…”

Gardwyne strolled around to his desk and sat in his chair. He took out his pipe and cleaned the bowl. He then took out his pouch and filled it. Tamping it down, he put the stem in his mouth to test the draw. The boys rattled on both talking at the same time.  Both stopped at the same time looking wide eyed at the older man. He raised his eyebrows and lit his pipe.

Having gotten their 2nd wind, they both started up again. “Wasn’t right what he was trying to do…” Loxlie said.

“It woulda took all my money…”

“We HAD to…sir” Loxlie pleaded.

“Please don’t kill us,” Fezyr finished lamely.

The Admiral had to turn his chair on them momentarily lest he break up with laughter. His back to them, he said, “Now let me see if I understood what you both just told me.  Mr. Sphenglys, you heard that Mr. Fotadi had left the Station, walking out on his debts to Mr. Haller and the Zeggan freelancer, Cagon Fu. Lt. Volo, you decided to accompany Mr. Sphenglys to Mr. Haller’s office to attest to when the ship became his.” He swiveled his chair back around. “There you proceeded to fabricate the story that you two were my nephews to dissuade Haller from charging  Mr. Sphenglys the moneys owed by Mr. Fotadi.”

“Yes, sir.” They both said miserably.

“It’s my fault, Admiral, Sir.” Loxlie said. “When he said Fez would have to move the ship right then and there or he’d take it as payment, I HAD to do something!”

“Not all his fault, he did it for me, sir.”

“Now Mr. Sphenglys, I understand you paid the docking fees for the next four days.”

“Yes sir.”

“And then you paid Mr. Cagon Fu the moneys owed him by Mr. Fotadi and hired him to be your gate security.”

“Yes sir.”

“Well there’s no precident set for impersonating a nephew…” The admiral leaned back and blew a smoke ring. “What am I to do with you two?”

“You could…forgive us,” Loxlie offered. “Special circumstanced and all, Admiral Sir.”

Fez nodded. “Temporary insanity…”

“Well…the first thing I’m going to do is ban Mr. Fotadi from the station. I do not take kindly to people cheating my station personnel or the workers who perform a service and expect to be paid for it.”

“Lt. Volo, you are assigned to the maintenance bay for the next two weeks, where you will operate one of the big haulers, and you’re banned from the Nosedive for that period, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir. I understand, sir.”

“Mr. Sphenglys, you and that derelict are becoming rather a thorn in my side. Because of this, you will remove that ship tomorrow. Lt. Volo, you will use one of the large haulers to tractor Mr. Sphenglys’ ship to his Uncle’s barge. I will see that Mr. Haller refunds the balance of the dock fee.”

“Uh…no…no sir, he can go on and keep that money. Make that loss he had a bit lighter. The money’s paid out, I’m good with it.”

“Very honorable, young man. I will make sure Haller appreciates your generosity. Now, both of you, get out of my office.”

Loxlie stood and saluted his Admiral. Fezyr nodded to him. “Thank you Admiral.”

When they were out of his office, the Admiral sat back and laughed mightily.

 



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

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Date: 7:07 PM, 11/19/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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CHAPTER THREE

 

Fezyr shoved his clothes into a sack and looked around his modest accommodations. “I appreciate you giving me a coupla days off, Oli. As soon as I can get the Mihn Behti docked and secure at Uncle Vilch’s, I’ll hitch a ride back.”

“Take what you need, kid. You’re job’ll be waiting for you when you get back. If you have trouble getting a ride, send word. I’ll come get you.”

“Thanks Oli,” Fezyr looked down for a moment. “Ya know…it’s a shame you ain’t got no kids, cuz you’da been a great dad.”

“I’m too old and cantankerous,” Oli said with a shrug. “No woman would put up with me.”

“You musta never met a Dyzaali woman, they’re mighty ornery.”

Oli laughed. “You’ll have to set me up, kid.”

“I might just do that.”

“You got what you need?”

“Yep.”

“Take care of yourself, boy. Come back when you can.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fezyr sat next to Loxlie at the controls of the Hauler. Occasionally he turned around and looked out the rear window to check on his ship. “I still can’t hardly believe it,” he murmured. “Now that I got ‘er, I’ll never let go.”

“I uh…I had one of our flight mechanics look at her,” Lox said.

“You did?” Fezyr asked. “What’d he find? Tell me straight.”

SHE said that engine is going to take a lotta work, but she’s structurally sound, and has good bones.”

“Yeah I saw that. But Uncle Vilch is so excited, he said I can raid the scrap yard for anything I need. He said once I git ‘er up and runnin’ he’ll pay me to pick up parts from nearby systems.”

“Wow your first customer!” Lox punched his arm. “Speaking of customers, where’s your crew, Captain Sphenglys?”

“CAPTAIN Sphenglys,” Fez crowed, then answered, “They caught a ride out yesterday. They’ll be waiting at the docking bay we got assigned.”

“Got your ship; got a crew! Dude! You’re on your way!”

“I will be once I git her goin’,” Fezyr grinned. “If this chug-a-bug will ever git us to the barge.”

“Shut up. You got this flight and tow free of charge, courtesy of Admiral Gardwyne. Leave my chug-a-bug alone. She’s a good old gal.”

“Gimme twenty minutes with her engine and I’ll have her dancin’ a jig.”

“Oh sure, I can see it now, the next guy who gets in her, slams into a bulkhead just turning her on. Thanks but no thanks. These old gals have to be slow.”

“I’m just sayin’…” Fez shrugged.

“So tell me, are you going to rig her with defense weapons?”

“I didn’t think about that…I guess I should if we’ll be carrying cargo…”

“When you’re ready, tell Mook to take you to Fever Town Market on Donym. You can pick up weapons there for next to nothing.”

“Side arms too?”

“Yep. You looking to pack?”  Loxlie glanced at him.

“Well yeah, I’m old enough. I had my dad’s for a while, got purdy damn good with it, too. But I had to sell it…was that or starve.”

“You know once you strap a blaster to your hip, that inner clock is going to start tickin’.” Loxlie was referring to the sad fact that few Dyzaali men lived past 30. The main cause of death for a Dyzaali was a shoot out.

“I ain’t going back to Dyzaal, not now, not ever. So I won’t be dyin’ in a shoot out there.”

“Shoot outs happen everywhere, Fez. Look, you get yourself a Shynfausker 220 Peace Keeper. They’ve been around forever, all the bugs are worked out of them. Their accuracy rating is 99%. When you get it, I’ll meet you at the range and take a look at it. They are one serious don’t-f***-with-me weapon.”

“Okay,” Fezyr nodded. “Thanks.”

“Just don’t go looking for something to prove,” Lox said. “Promise me that.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious!”

“OKAAAAY!” Fez waved his hands in the air wildly. “I promise I won’t go looking for trouble!”

Loxlie laughed and shook his head. “Fez, you don’t have to go looking for trouble. Trouble sees you coming a mile away and starts inviting people to the party.”

Fezyr joined his laughter. “Look, I promise I’m not trigger happy. It’s purely for self defense and the defense of those I hold close to me.”

“It’s a heck of a chick magnet,” Loxlie said.

“Oh yeah?” Fezyr grinned.

“Oooooh Yeaaaaah,” Loxlie nodded.

“WOOOOOOOhooooooooooooooo!”  Fezyr hooted

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fez watched the hauler pull away and angle towards the Starstation as Mook walked over. “She’s moored,” Mook said.

“Good. Lemme go stow my gear, then we’ll go to Lawani’s.”

Mook nodded and walked with Fez. Their quarters consisted of three hammocks hung in a partially empty storage compartment. Fez had so little, ‘stowing his gear’ meant throwing his duffel in the corner.

He turned and looked at Mook, then grinned. “Lawaniiiiiiii’s.”

Mook chuckled and followed him. “Pockets is already there.”

“You left Pockets ALONE in there?!” Fez said laughing.

The Barge his Uncle owned was a massive ship which was mostly taken up by Vilch’s maintenance business. However finding he had considerable unused space, he rented it out to three businesses. One of those businesses was Lawani’s Star Bar Grill and Inn, a place with great food, intense ambiance, and very naughty boys and girls. A spacer in need of repairs could pull in at Vilch’s, then swing over to this side and get a good meal and a companion for the evening. You might say it was a symbiotic relationship.

Vilch was the brother of Fezyr’s dad. Fez had been coming to see his uncle since he was just a child. They knew him well at Lawani’s.  Lawani, a delightful madam, had literally watched him grow up. She also saw to it he was properly versed in the ways of being a man with the assistance of one of her girls. He hadn’t been to The Barge in a few years and in that time, he had a serious growth spurt. Fezyr wondered if they’d recognize him.

He and Mook walked into the bar and spotted Pockets right away. Two of the girls were sitting with him, hugging him and playing with his hair.  “Hey Mook! Come meet these nice ladies!” Pockets called out.

“Hey, he’s thirteen!” Mook said. “My brother’s a little young for you ladies.”

“He’s sweet,” Sheela said, gracefully putting an errant lock of her red curls behind a delicate shell-like ear with her fingertips. “So sweet.” She purred.  She was a pretty Aybaali girl with a full figure -- full in all the right places -- a beautiful face, and pouty kissable lips.

“We didn’t hurt your baby brother, Handsome…don’t fret yourself over it,” this was Rylaena, a slender and terribly fit Dyzaali woman with raven hair down to her very shapely ass. Looking at Fez, she added “Well hello homeboy, aren’t you a pretty thing. How old are you?”

“Old enough,” Fez said smoothly. “Where can a guy get a drink and the most beautiful lady in the house?”

“I do NOT believe it!” came a sultry voice from the stairs. “That can NOT be little Fezyr Sphenglys!”

“Wani!” Fezyr rushed over and took her from the last step and held her tight. “You’re still the best lookin’ gal here.”

When her feet touched the floor once more, she held him at arm’s length and looked him up and down. “Look at you! You’ve grown into a man! How handsome you’ve become! And so tall!”

“He had a growth spurt right around 15,” Mook said. “He was working with me on a freighter outa Aybaal. One minute he was this short mouthy kid, the next he was a tall mouthy kid.”

“Yes, that’s our Fezyr,” Lawani laughed and hugged him again. “It’s SO good to see you! Are you here for a while?”

“Coupla days, to get some work done on my ship. Uncle Vilch is letting me use B Bay.

“I was just coming down to have dinner, come eat with me. You and your friends. Tell me how you have been. Then maybe you will take some ladies upstairs for the evening, as my gift to you.”

“Well now that sounds just about perfect, Wani. Mook?”

“Oh yeah, I can get behind that. Thanks Ma’am. But…uhm…my brother is a little young for that.”

“We’ll see that he’s comfortable…and safe,” Lawani assured him. She caressed the younger Nere brother’s cheek. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Duran but everybody just calls me Pockets, Miss Lawani.”

“I have a suite with two bedrooms, would you be my guest tonight?”

“Sleep in a real bed? Yes ma’am!”

“It’s settled then. Come, lets eat and drink far too much.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

After a wonderful meal, the boys were taken upstairs. Ezoe, a young Elfrakaani miss, brought Pockets,  Rylaena pulled Mook along, and Sheela held on to Fezyr’s arm and looked up at him with her kittenish face. “Were to now?” Fez asked.

“First, we give you baths…” Sheela said.

“Whoa! Wait, what?!” Mook balked.

“Mook, man, roll with it. You will NOT be sorry,” Fez told him.

“A …bath…” Mook said like one would say ‘an execution’. “I’m a shower man…”

“Look. Trust me. Just this once.”

“Just this once,” Mook said resignedly.

They were led to a room with a row of deep tubs. Three were filled. The ladies stripped the men, much to Pockets’ awe. And helped them into the tubs. Simply said, they bathed them. But simple it was not. They were soaped down with long luxurious strokes of the sponge. The ladies washed every inch of them down to their toes. And then they shampooed their hair giving each one, man and boy, a thorough scalp massage.

“Okay…” Mook said lazily, “there is definitely something to this, I gotta admit.”

“I told you,” Fezyr said with a sigh. “There ain’t nuthin’ like a bath at Lawani’s.”

“Ohhhhh Yeaaaaah,” Mook managed. “Never doubt you again.”

After the bath was over, each boy was wrapped in a plush robe and taken off to their respective rooms. Ezoe delivered a sleepy Pockets to Lawani’s suite.

At their doors, Fez looked down the hall at Mook. “Have fun, Mooky, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Wow that leaves me a pretty wide field of endeavor Fezzy.”

Fez giggled as he was pulled into the room.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fezyr woke slowly, feeling something on his nicely formed chest. He opened one eye and looked into the face of the lovely Sheela. “Mornin’ Pretty.”

“Good morning Fezyer,” she said sleepily. “Do you wish to ‘dance’ again?”

“Mm maybe.” He looked at the chronometer. “Wow it’s early…”

“Yes. Plenty of time to dance.”

“Any other time, I’d be so there. But I got a ship to repair and as much as I’d love to ‘dance’ with you, Pretty, I gotta get going.”

Sheela pouted as Fezyr gently ran the back of his large hand over her very perky breasts. “You sure are a comely little gal.”

Sheela pulled her self up his front to look him in the eye. “You are most handsome, Fezyr. Stay and make love with me.”

“That is one mighty big temptation, Missy,” Fezyr said rolled over on her and kissed her soundly. “But I hafta go.”

“No one else is up, Fezyr.” She smiled wickedly and looked down. “Except you.”

“Ohhh, now look what you went and did,” Fezyr shook his head.

“I can help you with that,” Sheela said with a hopeful look.

Fezyr sighed. “Well I guess I’m just gonna HAVE to, now…you went and got me all hot and bothered.”

“Awwww,” Sheela kissed his chin.  “I’m so sorry.”

“No you ain’t,” Fezyr said with a smile. “Not one bit.”

Sheela giggled and hooked her arms around his neck.

“You are such a frisky little gal. Come ‘ere.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Mook got to Fezyr’s door still rubbing the bite mark on his ass.  He turned andHe stole one more kiss from Rylaena as she continued on her way then turned and knocked. “Wakey wakey flyboy!”

After some noise and giggles, the door opened. Fezyr looked at him with sleepy eyes.

“Glad to see yer up, Fez. We got a ship to fix.”

Fezyr gave him a wicked grin. “I been up for hours.”

“Oh yeah? Get yer pipes cleaned out?”

“Yep…several times last night and this morning…my pipes are clean and clear. What about you?”

“I’m primed and good to go. Nothing like a Dyzaali gal to chase a way the cobwebs and unblock the system.”

“I’m hungry,” Fez said. “Lets grab some eats then get to work on the ship.” He walked back to the bed and gave Sheela a deep kiss. “See ya later Missy.”

“Sounds good. After we collect Pockets.”  Mook waved at her with his fingers. “C’mon lover boy.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Several hours later, they had set Pockets to polishing the outside of the Mihn Behti, trying to clean some of the age off of her.

Uncle Vilch had come over to look at her and had to admit, his nephew had done well for himself. “Sure you don’t wanna scrap ‘er?” he called out, teasing the boy.

From somewhere in the workings of the freighter he heard two young male voices yell, “YES!”

He chuckled and rolled a large canister of a green liquid over. “Here, boy,” he said to Pockets. “Put on these goggles and this hazmat gear. Use the gloves. This stuff will strip all that space gunk off of her.”

Pockets pulled on the hazmat suit.

“Don’t get this on your skin, you hear?  It’ll strip that right off your bones. Put this on yer head.” He handed him a helmet.

“Okay. Thanks Uncle Vilch.”

Inside, Mook was cleaning the console and recharging her power while Fez, crawling around in the engine, took stock of the parts he was going to need.

Mook got up and opened a panel to look at her wires and conduits. It all looked pretty decent. Maybe a new liner here and there. No corrosion; that was a plus.  He moved along the wall and found a panel door. Not sure if she had enough juice yet to have the pneumatic control work, he pushed the button. It slid open onto a very dark compartment.

Mook went out and grabbed a light and went back in.

Fez was on his back, checking a valve when he heard Mook’s call. “Fez? Fezyr! You better come see this.”

There was something in his friend’s voice that sounded…different.  Fex pulled himself along the tube then out of the hatch. “Wut!”

He found the open door and looked into the dimly lit compartment. “Starfire!” he exclaimed as he found himself looking at a shuttle. “What kinda condition is she in?”

“I swear,” Mook said. “She’s almost new. Maybe last year’s model. He musta forgot she was in here or he didn’t even know. Dude, you got a free landing craft!”

“Sweet!” Fez cried. “Now I can commute from work.”

“He’s gonna realize that and come back for it, I bet.”

“No way, man. He deserted the docking bill and cheated Cagon. Admiral Gardwyne has banned his ass from the Station.”

“We ain’t on the Station, Fez.’

“Yeah, you got a point. I better ask Oli if I can dock it there, outa sight…he can’t get it from there.”

“You got yer title?”

“Yeah, in my things.”

“Lemme look at it.” Mook said.

Fez walked to their bunk area and pulled out the paper. He came back and handed it to Mook. “Lemme seeeee,” the Aybaali said as he scanned it. “It says a shuttle is included on all the freighters…but the type don’t match that one.”

“Musta wrecked the original one…” Fez shrugged. “Let’s check the little sweetie out.” He opened the hatch and stepped in. “Whoa…what is that smell?”

Mook winced. “Pretty ripe…probably the food compartment.” He found a locker and pulled it open. To their surprise a body fell out and landed on Mook.

“Yah! Dead Guy! Git ‘im off me!” Mook screamed.

Fez pulled the body so it fell sideways, gingerly sidestepping it. Once it hit the floor, he stared at it wide-eyed. “Looks like Fotadi might be wanted for more than skippin’ on a bill.”

He pulled the rag out of his back pocket and put it over his nose. Squatting, he looked through the guy’s pockets. “Nothing.”

“What’s under his shirt?” Mook asked pointing at the bulge around the man’s middle.

Fezyr pulled the shirt up and found a money belt. “Looks like his cash stash.” He said. He undid the belt and pulled it out from under the body taking some rotted skin with it. “Okay I am officially grossed out,” Fez said. He picked at the Velcro flap and opened it. “Mook…”

The belt was fat with cash.

“Fez, you’re rich!”

“WE’RE rich,” Fezyr corrected.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

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Date: 4:39 PM, 11/20/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Hi Cajun! flowerface


wow..another Nic fic? I shall look forward to reading, when I can give it my full attention.
The cover art is mindblowing! I really really love it...who is the artist? 

It is truly inspiring to see how productive you are being with your writing and I totally hope it is infectious!

The dedication to Nic is wonderful, he would be really touched I am sure. flowerface

Thank you for sharing with us all again and keep going! starry



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NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 5:10 PM, 11/20/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Just finished reading the third chapter, Cajun! It is really a NICspiring and brilliant piece of art! And, I love this story! Keep up the NICxellent work! pinkpI can only agree with Lula! Nic would surely be touched, if he would read that story!flowerface



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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage




Nic Superfan

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Date: 7:06 PM, 11/20/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Miss Lula,

Thank you so much for the wonmderful compliment. I'm also the cover artist. I hope you enjoy the read when you get to it. I'll be posting the whole novel here. It's my offering for NaNoWriMo this year...

I very much enjoy using Nick as inspiration. His wonderful variation of roles give me insight into so many different personalities.  He's perfect for the gentle hero Al and he's perfect for the wacky teenage spacer Phaser. I also have a werewolf character in the ether waiting to come out. Knowing Nick loved New Orleans, I'm going to set that one down home. Not sure when I'll get to it but darn it, I'm gonna get to use those werewolf emoticons yet. LOL.

 

Enjoy



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

Status: Offline
Posts: 136
Date: 7:11 PM, 11/20/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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If Nic read Phaser I would hope he would laugh his ass off. If he did, then the story would have acheived the goal. To make people laugh with this one. Alessio from RELEVANCE is my fairly grounded serious man...but even he has what I hope is a disarming funny side.

I'm very much enjoying writing Phaser. He's both laid back AND hyper...how he acheives that I will never understand. But one thing's for sure, he has an extremely short fuse.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

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Date: 8:46 PM, 11/20/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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I don't want to take away from the writing but my word.....Cajun.. the artwork is amazing.. I have been looking for this style of Nic artwork for a while...for a concept for the forum header and background! do you take commissions ? 

 

werewolf2



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Nic Superfan

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Date: 10:03 PM, 11/20/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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I do...what is it you're looking for?  You don't detract from the story at all, Lula. I've said before I am an artist first. Writing came along later in my life. I am very much enjoying the writing right now. I love Nic, he's a pleasure to draw.  I plan to do inside illustrations for Phaser's story.

 

Talk to me.



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

Status: Offline
Posts: 136
Date: 10:04 PM, 11/20/12
THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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CHAPTER FOUR

 

Fezyr sat in Admiral Gardwyne’s waiting room, seemed like this was becoming a regular thing these days. The Admiral’s office door opened, and he looked into the room, “Fezyr won’t you come in?”

Fez pulled himself up and walked in behind the Admiral. “I didn’t do it,” he said.

“Do what?”

“Whatever you called me in here for.”

“Actually this is about the body you found in your ship, boy.”

“I KNOW I didn’t do THAT.” Fez told him.

“Yes and we know you didn’t either, sit down and relax. You’re not in trouble…for a change.”

“That’s different,” Fez said. He took a seat across from the Admiral.

“Indeed.” The Admiral sat across from him. “Tell me again how it went when you found the body.”

“Well, we was workin’ on the Mihn, Mook found a panel door and opened it and we found the shuttle. Just figured it was a replacement for the original, so we wanted to check her out. We no sooner got the hatch open when the smell came out of it. So Mook, figurin’ it was the food locker opened it and out drops the dead guy!” Fez started laughing. “Mook screams like a girl.”

“Then what?”

“Well then I got Uncle Vilch and we called you guys. We didn’t wanna touch the guy cuz he was…well kinda juicy…” Fez grimaced. “I sure hope I can get that smell outa my shuttle!”  He stopped and looked at the Admiral. “It is MY shuttle, ain’t it?”

“Normally the answer to that might be no. However, its serial numbers were removed, therefore it is untraceable. It was within the ship that you have a title for and that title states the ship comes with a shuttle.  So yes. It is your shuttle.”

“I am relieved,” Fezyr said. “I like I can get between here and there and not have to bother anybody for a ride.”

“Fezyr?”

“Yes, sir?”

“You didn’t scrape the ID number off that shuttle did you?”

“No, sir. Honestly it was in my mind to since the specs didn’t match what was on the title…but when I went to look them up they weren’t there. So no, sir, I did not.”

“And is there anything else you’d like to tell me?”

“No, sir, there isn’t,” Fezyr said. “But there sure is something I’d like to ask ya.”

“What is that lad?”

“Do you think Fotadi is gonna come after us, cuz we found that guy?  Cuz we called you?”

“At this point I can tell you that Mr. Fotadi is being sought for questioning regarding this. Unless the man is completely devoid of intelligence, I have to believe he didn’t know that body was on the freighter. Why would he leave it so ill protected with such incriminating evidence on board.”

“Maybe…and yet, when he found out I wasn’t scrappin’ her, he up and disappeared. Real fast. That’s kinda weird ain’t it?”

“Mmm, you may have a point,” Admiral Gardwyne nodded.

“Ever find out who the dead guy was?” Fezyr asked.

“Not as yet.  It’s a large galaxy, boy. He’s not of any race inhabiting the Sahn/Dahl system.”

“Are you done with me sir? I hate to leave Oli hangin’, he gives me so much time to work on my ship…”

“Yes, you’re excused. Thank you for your input, Fezyr.”

“No problem what-so-ever, Admiral. Happy to help.” Fez got up and walked to the door.

“Fezyr.”

“Yes, sir?” Fez stopped, his back to the admiral.

“You are telling me everything, aren’t you?”

Fez bit his lip, then turned around. “Well I did go through his pockets and all trying to find some ID…weren’t nuthin’ in ‘em. I thought that was kinda odd, cuz his suit looked real nice. Boots looked real nice. But he wasn’t carryin’ a wallet or wearin’ any jewelry…seemed off to me. You know how he died? We didn’t see no marks on him.”

“His brain was comparable to mush.”

Fez frowned. “What would do that?”

“We’re working on it.”

“Anything else Sir?”

“No. You’re excused.”

Fezyr walked out of the office and then onto the concourse.  He hated lying to the Admiral. But he needed that money he found to get his ship up and running. The dead guy didn’t need it any more. Probably stole it anyway.

Admiral Gardwyne puffed on his pipe deep in thought. His office door slid open and his brother, the Station’s Chief of Medical, stepped in. “Cyril, wasn’t that young Sphenglys?”

“The same.”

“Did he have anything to say?”

“Quite a bit actually. Gave me a bit to think about. What about you? You have anything new to add?”

“Well, aside from that odd bit of skin missing from his back, I’ve found something very interesting in his clothing.”

“And that is?”

“Apparently, shortly before his death, he encountered a very concentrated amount of Dust.”

“A drug dealer then?”

“Very possibly.”

“Mmm the plot thickens.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fezyr had just gotten to the lift when his wristcom went off. “Mook? What’s up?”

“Fez, we got trouble.”

“Ohhhh, what kinda trouble, now?” Fez said rubbing his head.

“Pockets took the seat pads outa the Shuttle to clean ‘em and he accidently tore one.”

“That’s no big deal, I kinda wanted to cover them anyhow…they’re uglier than s***.”

“That’s not the problem,” Mook said. “It’s what was in the pads.”

“I don’t gitcha. Say again?”

“The pads are filled with Dust.”

“Well just clean ‘em!”

“Fez. Dust as in drugs.”

“Oh s***! THAT Dust…okay hang in there, I’m going back to the Admiral and report it. Is Pockets okay?”

“Yeah I hosed him down, that stuff is insidious.”

“Okay I’ll call ya when I’m done with Gardwyne.” Fez turned on his booted heel and hurried back to Admiral’s office.

He spotted the senior officer walking down the hall past his office. “Admiral!  Admiral Gardwyne!”

Gardwyne turned. “Yes?”

Fezyr caught up to him and then just stared at him.

“What is it, Sphenglys, I’m on my way to a meeting.”

“Sir, my partner just called and well…you know Pockets? The kid?”

“Yes, I believe I’ve met the boy. Aybaali isn’t he?”

“Yes sir. He took the seat pads off the shuttle to clean ‘em and he accidently damaged one of them.”

“Is this going somewhere?”

“Them pads is fulla Dust, sir. Drugs.”

“Is the boy all right?”

“Yessir.  Mook hosed him down. But I wanted to let you know, we don’t want nothin’ to do with that kinda stuff.  I’d be obliged if you’d send somebody to take them pads, sir.”

“Good lad. I’ll send some FP’s.” Admiral Gardwyne put his hand on Fez’s shoulder. “I’m extremely proud of you, boy.”

Fez winced and looked down ashamed. He made a huge sigh. “Sir…”

“Fezyr. Anything else is no longer of importance. Do you understand me? You’ve done well. That will be an end to your involvement.”

“But sir… there’s…”

“…No more to be said. Go on now, call your men and let them know I’m sending FP’s to relieve them of those drugs. Tell them not to touch the pads anymore. Dangerous substance, Dust. Do we understand one another?”

“Yessir. I guess we do…and thank you.”

Fezyr watched the Admiral disappear around the corner of the concourse. He had to admire the man. Lox was right, the Admiral was a good guy.

He turned and went back to the lift, calling Mook as he did.

“Admiral said he’s sending a coupla Feddie cops to get the goods. Don’t touch it any more. Too dangerous.”

“You got it, when you comin’ over?”

“After work. Got some things to do for Oli, then I’ll be there.”

“Gotcha.”

Fez hopped in the lift and smiled at a uniformed lady leaning against the wall.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Once his work day was over, Fez went to his shuttle and took off for the Barge. The Admiral had let him know that the pick up was made and all was good.  He still couldn’t get over the man, who obviously knew about the money belt, closing that issue without taking it away from him. He reasoned it was probably considered a reward for turning in the drugs.

Sure he could have held on to the drugs and sold them but he never had been and never intended to be a drug dealer.  That was just no way to make a living.  He promised himself and he would promise his crew that also included drug running. No way. There was too much else out there to transport.

He pulled into B Bay hanger and the closed the bay doors. He got out of the shuttle and hurried to Mook. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah, it was an easy transaction. They know we had nothin’ to do with it.”

“You okay Pockets?”

“I got a little dizzy for a while, but I’m okay now.”

“I done made up my mind. We will never run drugs. You got that?”

“I’m down with that,” Mook said.

“Me too,” Pockets said.

“Good, then that’s a done deal.”

“You gonna go see Sheela tonight?” Mook asked.

“I was thinkin’ about it.” Fez grinned. “Once we get space worthy, ladies gonna be few and far between.”

“She’s sweet on you, Fez.” Pockets said poking him.

“Naw. It’s her job.”

“No, she’s sweet on you. I’m tellin’ you.”

“Your fulla beans, kid.”

“Hey you boys, I got something came in today you might be interested in,” Vilch said as he came in the bay.

“Oh yeah? Wazzat?” Fez asked.

“Come take a look.”

Fez, with Mook and Pockets in tow, followed his uncle into the receiving area.

As they rounded the wall of the area, Fez stopped. There before them was a new model small star yacht, her hull crumpled beyond repair. “Oh man, that is a shame.”

“Yeah, maiden trip. Got slammed in the ass by a megafreighter. At least nobody was killed. But she’s toast. The insurance is getting the owners a new one.”

“Is this what your wanted us to see, Uncle Vilch?”

“It is.”

“Uh…why?”

“Well just so happens her souped up engine could be compatible with your freigthter with a few tweeks and adapters here and there.”

“No s***? A brand new engine? What shape’s it in?”

“Not a scratch. All her damage is in her rear.”

“You paid em for the scrap?”

“Yep.”

“What you wantin’ for that engine, Unk?”

“I was thinkin’ 2000, you got that? Need to make it in payments? I’d be sellin’ it for 4000 to anyone else.”

“That’s a decent price!  I got it. Got a loan from a coupla friends.” It wasn’t a lie. He did get a loan from Lox and Marz. But that wouldn’t be the money he’d be using.

“Good then it’s all yours. You can use my engine hauler. Happy to help. You boys took on a mighty big job with this refurbish. I’m damned proud of ya.”

After inspecting the engine to see what adapters might be needed, Fezyr clapped Mook on the back. “That is one sweet piece of machinery! Holy Starfire, we got us a hot engine that’ll make our gal pretty fast!”

“My mamma would say this is meant to be. Too much is fallin’ our way for it not to happen.”

“Come and look what I did, Fez

 “All right, all right, don’t get yer panties in a twist!” Fez laughed. He followed the excited Aybaali boy back to B Bay. “Okay, show me.”

“Go around the other side of her!”

Fez walked around the other side of the Mihn Behti. “Whatcha got?”

Pockets hit the lights. This entire side of the freighter shined down to the metal.

“Wow! You did a really fine job, Pockets. She’s ready to paint on this side!”

“What’re you gonna choose for her, Fez?”

“I was thinking black with a starfield on her back,” Fez said.

“Ohhhh camouflage!” Mook said. “That’s inspired.”

“I dunno. That might kinda tip our hand as to what we plan to use her for.”

“Yeah…” Mook agreed. “But it’d look awesome.”

“Maybe black with red flames.” Fez mused. He walked all around the freighter looking at her.  As much as I’d like a flashy paint job, she’s gonna be a workin’ vessel.  She shouldn’t stand out too much. Too easy to spot.”

“I think she should be kinda gold colored like brass,” Pockets offered. “With maybe bronze colored fixins’.”

“You know that wouldn’t look half bad!” Fez said.

“Dude, it’s your ship, what do YOU want?”

“It’s our ship, Mook. All of us. It’s gonna be our home. We’re gonna be space nomads.”

“Space Nomads!” Mook said. “I like that. You gonna change her name?”

“I should…don’t want her associated with that creep Fotadi anymore,” Fez said. “I’ll think on it, you guys too.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Sheela sat with her foot on Fezyr’s stomach as he painted her toenails. “Fezyr…”

“Yeah?”

“Does it bother you that I sleep with others?”

“Pretty, that’s your job, ain’t it?”

“Yes. But does it bother you?”

“Naw.  Well, maybe a little, but it’s your livin’. I wouldn’t stand it the way of your makin’ a livin’ no more’n you would me.”

“No I think it is exciting that you are a ship captain.”

“I got no papers.”

“You are a captain in your heart, Fezyr. Paper does not make you a captain.”

“You got that right, but you need ‘em to get into star ports.”

Sheela thought about that for a long moment. “Fezyr?”

“Hm?”

“I have a customer who makes such papers.”

“You do? What’s he, a port authority guy?”

“No…he is a forger.”

Fezyr laughed. “Well now that’s just what I need. When you see him next?”



-- Edited by CajunSheWolf on Tuesday 20th of November 2012 10:38:10 PM

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"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

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CajunSheWolf wrote:

I do...what is it you're looking for?  You don't detract from the story at all, Lula. I've said before I am an artist first. Writing came along later in my life. I am very much enjoying the writing right now. I love Nic, he's a pleasure to draw.  I plan to do inside illustrations for Phaser's story.

 

Talk to me.


 wow. this is awesome. Let me gather my thoughts and PM you very soon.

In the meantime, I am off for a read



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Nic Superfan

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Alrighty then. I hope you like what's here so far. There are 5 parts. Each part has 4 chapters. All of Part 1 is here now.

 



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"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Really great chapter! Hope, he gets the paper, he needs! Thanks, for posting it here, and I hope, you want to post the other parts here as well, Cajun! Looking forward, to continue, reading! :=)

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I'll be posting the whole thing here, Lady Roxie. I'm about to put up Part 2, Chapter 5. So happy you're enjoying it.



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"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



Nic Superfan

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PART TWO

In which someone lets the cat in

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER FIVE

 

“Okay, I’m fixin’ to kick ‘er on!” Fez called out.

“All clear!” Mook shouted. “Fire it up!”

Fezyr closed his eyes, flicked the lid on the ignition button, and whispered, “Please, please, please…sweetheart, do it for Fezyr.” He pressed the button and the engines roared into life. “WoooHooooo!” he yelled.

“You did it!!!” Pockets cried.

“WE did it,” Fez yelled back. “Who’s ready to take ‘er for a spin?”

His crew came up the ramp and shut the bay door. Mook took one of the seats next to Fez, Pockets took a seat out by the view port in the cabin.

“Okay here we go!” Fez said. “Mihn Behti, test life support and systems prep for take off.”

Working

“It sounds like a girl,” Mook said.

“A’course she does! Cuz she’s my gal!” Fezyr laughed.

All systems working at maximum, take off approved.

“Atta girl,” Fez said with a grin. “Sound alert for clearin’ flight bay.”

The claxon began to sound and the red lights began to flash. The sensor swept the area to make sure no life forms were present as the bay doors to outside prepared to open.

All clear

“Open Bay B ramp doors!” Fezyr said. He looked at Mook. “This is it.”

Mook nodded and crossed his fingers.

“Pockets, you secure back there?”

“All set!”

“Position for launch,” Fez put his hands on the ‘wheel’.

Working

“Lift blast shield,” Mook said.

Identify

“Behti that’s Mook, he’s authorized.” Fez said.

Mook identify rank.

“Ship’s second, pilot, navigation.” Mook said

Noted. Mook. Second Officer. CoCon. Navigation.

“Authorize me too!” Pockets called out.

“Behti authorize Pockets.”

Pockets. Identify rank.

“Computer guy, weapons chief, Communications.” Fez provided.

Noted. Pockets. Technician. Weapons,Comm.

“Do you know who I am?” Fez asked.

Fezyr Sphenglys, captain, pilot, title holder.

“We’re official! Let’s motivate!”

Motivating

The Mihn Behti launched out of the bay doors and shot into the vacuum of space.

“Let’s see how she handles,” Fez said with a grin. “Behti? Simulate evasive maneuvers, please.”

Implementing simulation. Evasive Manuevers.

The ship pivoted, turned on her left fin, then rotated to her right fin and went through a series of maneuvers designed to evade enemy fire.

“Beautiful,” Fez said. “Now release to manual control.”

Manual control authorized, Captain Fezyr Sphenglys at con.

“Thank you, little lady,” Fez said.

Define Little Lady.

“Thank you Mihn Behti.  This gal needs a sense of humor,” he laughed. Fezyr took her through several maneuvers including a vertical twirl and a horizontal twirl. “We got us a fine lil’ ol’ ship, you guys. She handles pretty great,” Fez said. “Lets take ‘er in and get some final touches on. Mook, you and me is goin’ to Donym. We’re gonna give this here gal some bite.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

“No, you gotta stay here. You’re underage fer the gun auction, Pockets,” Fezyr explained.  “But I’m gonna get you a blaster and show you how to use it. Once we’re in the stars, ain’t nobody gonna check your carry permit.”

“Somethin’ that’ll fit in my hand,” Pockets said dejectedly.

“Here, lemme see…which one you use?”

“Right.”

Fezyr held out his left hand and Pockets put his right hand against it. “Jeemies, Fez, you got big hands!”

“Big hands make fer big knuckles,” Fezyr grinned. “All the better to kick ass with.”

“One track mind, Sphenglys. Better gauge him off mine,” Mook said, holding up his hand for comparison.

“That’s actually purty close,” Fez said. “Figure he’s gonna outgrow ya, Mook?”

“I don’t think he will, he’s got me hand over fist for smarts though.” Mook ruffled his younger brother’s thatch of variegated green hair.

“Perfect, if it’s a good fit for you, it’s a good fit for him. Let’s motivate,” Fezyr said. “We’re gonna take the shuttle, Pockets. You’re good to hang here and work on our girl, right?”

“Don’t have any choice, it seems,” Pockets grumbled.

“Come oooon, man,” Fez said. “I’m countin’ on you fer her finishin’ touches. I need ya here! Don’t be all cross.”

“You really need me, Fez?” Pockets asked.

“I do! I swear on it,” Fez said hitting his chest with his fist. “‘Sides, in two more years yer gonna be old enough and we’ll take ya to so many gun shows you’ll git sick of ‘em.”

Pockets relaxed and laughed. “Go on, then. I’ll take care of our girl.”

“We’ll be back tomorrow,” Mook said. “Fezyr set it up for you to stay with Miss Lawani. Try and help her out if you can, be a good guest.”

“Sure, maybe I can work on her computers if she’s needin’ it.”

He walked Fez and Mook to the shuttle which Fez kept parked between his Uncle’s two rides. Fez had painted it red and black. He named it Lil’ Zipper. Pockets who, in addition to being pretty savvy with tech, was also a passable artist and painted flames on its sides with its name. Fezyr had been really pleased with the work.

“Okay, don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do,” Fez said.

“I won’t,” Pockets promised.

Fez opened Lil’ Zipper’s hatch and entered the shuttle.

Mook looked at his little brother, “…and, more important, don’t do anything he would do!”

Pockets laughed and shook his head, “I won’t. I’m not THAT crazy.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Lil’ Zipper was actually legal, certainly moreso than the Mihn Behti. They’d registered it and gotten it a new ID code. Fez had a legal license to fly shuttles and speeders, but that’s where all legality ended.

While he legally owned the Mihn Behti, he didn’t have a license to pilot her nor did she have a current Class Designation Permit. AND her registration as a demi class freighter was expired. Money.  Arming her was going to change her classification. More money. Getting the crew forged pilot’s licenses and weapons registrations, the proper docking permits and travel papers. WAY more money. Doing it legally would leave them wrapped in months and months of red tape. So Fez asked little Sheela to speak to that client of hers that could do the forgeries. He hoped there’d be some word when he got back.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Pockets got the console in the c***pit cleaned and sparkling. He had the entire Freighter ship shape. He sat at the con and looked at the AI panel. This girl needs a sense of humor Fezyr had said.

It was true, her responses were general and without personality.  He opened the panel, and started to work. Shouldn’t be too hard to make her responses more…interesting.  He made the decision to give her a little attitude and maybe an avatar, yes! That would be perfect. He went to his room on the Behti and pulled out his treasured hand held video arena. He looked at it and sighed. “If I’m gonna be a blaster packin’ spacer like Fezyr and Mook, I gotta put away toys.” He nodded and took the game system back to the control panel. A little cannibalization and transfer of parts and data and the ship would have a three dimensional holographic avatar.

While he worked, a brilliant name for the ship came into his head, a play on her registered name. He programmed that in as well. He could change it if Fez didn’t like it.

He worked several hours then, when he was satisfied, he put the panel cover back on. He activated the controls. “Uhm, Mean Betti, would you please materialize for me?”

Who’s asking? The voice wasn’t mechanical any more. It was smooth, even sultry.

“This is Pockets.”

Pockets. Authorized.

“Betti, can you do a voice print for future vocal recognition?”

I can.

“Would you please run a voice print record of the crew? Seems like that’d be a better way to do this; I mean in the event of a time critical emergency.”

Agree. Working.

Pockets leaned back and put his feet up. After a few moments he looked to his right and did a double take. She sat in the other seat and regarded him with a cool expression. He’d chosen a Dyzaali avatar because Dyzaali were born spacers and the women were strong willed and courageous.

Finsihed, the avatar said looking at him and did a little head flip to get her long raven/blue tresses out of her face.

He looked her up and down. He’d dressed her in a black leather body suit that accentuated her voluptuous figure and ample bosoms. She looked hot, with blasters on both hips. Not bad! “Betti?”

Yes, Pockets?

“Wow, you’re beautiful!”

That would be owing to your expertise. Pockets?

“Yes Betti?”

Do you love your Mean Betty?

“I sure do.”

Then get your damn dirty boots off of my console.

Pockets took his feet down immediately and grinned. “Yes MA’AM! Oh Fezyr is gonna LOVE you!”

Fezyr is my main man. She said with a wink.

“Oh yeah…Fezyr is definitely gonna love YOU!”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Uncle Vilch stood on the deck and waved up to Pockets. The young Aybaali moved and moments later came down the loading ramp. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Nothin’ much, kid. Just checking to see if you want something to eat.”

“Uh yeah, that’d be great.”

“What ya been doing all morning?”

“Working on the AI unit, what about you?”

“Ahh, I’m a little pissed off,” Vilch said.

“uh oh…was it something we did?”

“Huh? Oh no, Kid, it’s not about you youngsters. I ordered a s*** load of outer hull paint for a job I got commissioned to do and they sent the wrong colors.”

“Bummer. What did you order?”

“A deep purple and silver.”

“What did you get?”

“Black, red and gold. I mean who wants a black ship? That’s a flight collision waiting to happen.” Vilch shook his head. “Now I gotta take the time and return it and reorder.”

“Can’t ya keep it around? You paint ships a lot here don’t ya?”

“I do. But I got to get this job done and I don’t have the money to replace that whole order, so I have to exchange it.”

Pockets looked at the Mean Betty. “Well, how big is this vehicle you have to paint?”

“Oh she’s another space yatch, half again bigger than the Behti.”

“What if I was to buy some of that paint so we could paint the Betti? Would that be enough for you to reorder?”

“Sure, but a black ship is dangerous out there.”

“Not if I detail her in red and gold. What do you say? It’d match the shuttle. She’d look brand new!”

“You wanta surprise him, doncha?”

Pockets nodded. He loved his brother to pieces, but Fezyr, he hero worshipped.

“Git your money, boy. I figure we could paint her for 7000. But seein’ as you boys are family, let’s call it 5. We’ll move her to the paint bay.”

Pockets hurried back into the Betti to retrieve the cash from the money belt. He was already formulating the design in his head. This ship was going to be the bomb!

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Fez sat heavily on a bench outside the 100th armory shop they’d visited. He’d already scored the side arms for each of them, plus a few extra, just in case. He’d paid attention to Lox’s suggestion for those. He’d also purchased several large blaster rifles, but finding the guns for his ship wasn’t as easy. He was losing hope.

Mook spotted a shop that claimed they had military grade surplus. He punched Fezyr’s arm and pointed. “I got a good feeling about them,” he said. “Come on, look there’s in Inn right next to them…if we don’t find what we want, we can start first thing tomorrow.”

“Okay, let’s check em out,” Fez said. With a sigh, he stood and pulled Mook up.

Fez walked into the large tent and spotted the proprietor.  He went to him and stood at the counter.

“What can I do for you today, kid?”

“I just got me an old Bastaani demi class freighter. Gonna do some transport, might be in some rough neighborhoods. Thinkin’ about givin’ ‘er a little fire power. Got anything that’d fit ‘er?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I was thinkin’ a coupla mid-sized photon canons, maybe a set of nose guns as well.”

“What’d you say her class was?” The man stepped to his computer screen.

“She’s an old Demi class…the ones you can only get on Bastaan.”

“How old…”

“She’s an Aught Five,” Mook said.

“Four or six cabin?”

“Six.” Fez said.

The proprietor pulled her schematics up and ran a hard copy. He rolled the print out on the counter. “Show me where you want to put the weapons.”

Fez pointed first to the canon positions, then the smaller guns.

The shop man took some measurements and entered them into the computer. “Now, do you want visible or pop up for the cannons?”

“Well pop would be great. Can she handle that?”

“Sure she can! A lotta folks arm these old girls. Look here in the schemo, see these two compartments?”

“Yeah.”

“Those are there for weapon installation. Most companies just use them as extra cargo space for small s***, but they’re actually gun wells. They’re just a wee bit forward of where you wanted to place the cannons.”

“Okay so the big question is: you got what we need?” Fez asked.

“You’ve come to the right place, young man. Follow me.” The shop man walked toward the back of the tent. “They’re OGF issue, no damage, replaced by an upgrade. I can give you an excellent price AND we deliver.”

Fez looked at Mook, grinned, and gave him the thumbs up.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

After negotiating a price that made both parties very happy, and picking up some hardware and lit needed for the installations, Fez and Mook decided to stay the night at the Inn across the way. That way they could leave bright and early and be back to The Barge by late afternoon.

Following a decent supper, Fez and Mook got into their hammocks and settled in for the night. 

“Mook?”

“Yeah Fez?”

“I almost feel like I’m gonna wake up and this’ll all be a dream.”

“No, Fez, it’s real.  It’s a dream all right. A dream come true.  Once them guns are up and running, we’re in business. Get some sleep. We still got a lot of work ahead of us.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

At the Barge, Lawani tucked Pockets in. “Sleep well young man. You’ve done some very good work today.”

“You think he’ll like it, Miss Lawani?”

“I have known Fezyr Sphenglys most of his young life. He used to sleep in this very bed when I would care for him while Vilch was making a run. He’s almost like a son to me. Having said that, I believe he will love what you have done. Sleep now. They will most likely return tomorrow.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Pockets yawned. “Tomorrow.”



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

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Date: 8:13 PM, 11/22/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Really great read! To me, this chapter is a mixture of LOW, a bit of GISS and the part, where Pockets creats that avatar reminds me on the Scy Fi-serie Andromeda!^^ Looking forward, to continue reading the next chapter! You are really a NICspired writer, Cajun!pinkp



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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage




Nic Superfan

Status: Offline
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Date: 11:06 PM, 11/22/12
THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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Okay, here's where the old lady displays her ignorance, Lady Roxie....what are LOW and GISS?  Andromeda...is that one of the Star Trek incarnations? Chapter 6 tomorrow

Wait...LOW Lord of War?  GISS Gone in Sixty Seconds?  I had to look at my movie list LOL. Wow...BEEG compliment. It's funny too because I haven't watched any NICfilms to write this.  To get into the right frame of mind, I watched Galaxy Quest, Last Starfighter, Star Wars, Babylon 5 and Classic Battle Star Galactica.  Cuz this is considered Space Opera...

To give you an idea of how long I've had this Universe, I created Valkaraan, the first planet in the Sahn Dahl system, in 1964. The next planet I created in that system was Elvrakaan in 1979. The rest were created in 1990. 

Thank you again. I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story.

 



-- Edited by CajunSheWolf on Friday 23rd of November 2012 12:55:40 AM

__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

Status: Offline
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Date: 1:32 PM, 11/23/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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 Yes, that`s correct!smile LOW = Lord of War and GISS = Gone in sixty seconds! Apologies! I got so used to write the abbreviations of them, since I`m here on the forum, that I forgot to deliver the meaning of them as well! Andromeda is from the same creator: Gene Roddenberry, but has nothing to do with Star Trek itself! And,  while reading, some parts of this chapter, it reminded me to some similar scenes of those movies!^^pinkp

LOL! Well, some good things just need more time to grow and reveal themself! We really appreciate, that you grant us the honor to post your fantastNIC creatNIC stories here, for us to read and enjoy!bouncyfrog



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"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage




Nic Superfan

Status: Offline
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Date: 2:52 PM, 11/23/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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CHAPTER SIX

           

The next morning, Sphenglys and Nere walked into the office of the parking facility. Both were rested and in good spirits.

“There ya go,” Fezyr said laying out the fee for the parking.

“I trust your stay here at Fevertown was a good one.” The counter girl said winking at Fez with her third eye.”

“Oh don’t you even go there girl,” he said, laughing. “You temptress you.”

“Hope you come back soon, I have a real weakness for Dyzaali’s.”

As they walked across the lot towards the Lil’ Zipper, Mook shook his head. “Why is it they all flirt with you?!”

“It’s my boyish good looks; they can’t resist ‘em.” Fezyr sighed. “Oh yeah and I have a great ass.”

“Who told you your ass was great?”

“Uhm…Finda…Colia…Trin…Rylaen…and a’course, my very pretty pretty Miss Sheela.”

“I hate to disillusion you, Fez, but those gals are all hookers. They’re paid to tell you your ass is great.”

“Oh…hm…well I didn’t pay any of them to say that. Every time I’m around those ladies, they grab my ass. Do they grab yours?”

“No,” Mook admitted. “But Rylaen bit mine.”

“Starfire! Did she really?”

“Oh yeah.”

“She’s marked her territory! Damn, Mook!”

“Shut up.”

“Can you still see it?”

“Yeah a little.”

“You oughta get it tattooed t’make it permanent.”

“You are space wacky.” Mook laughed and reached for the hatch control. He stopped. The hatch was ajar. “Fez.” He pointed.

“You were the last one out; you didn’t close and lock it?!” Fezyr cried.

“Yes, I did.” Mook said looking at his friend.

They simultaneously pulled their side-arms.

Mook opened the hatch and they stepped in, weapons up. They looked all over the small shuttle, even checked the locker, though this time Mook stood to the side before pulling it open. Empty.

Next they checked the cabin to see if anything had been stolen.

“I don’t get it,” Mook said. “Nothing’s gone.”

“Weird,” Fezyr said. “Maybe something got caught in th’hatch mechanics. Didja check it after it closed?”

“No,” Mook admitted. “Maybe that’s it.”

“Well we were mighty lucky Zip didn’t get stolen. That’s the universe tellin’ us to be careful and givin’ us another chance.” Fez sat at the console.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. From now on, whoever goes out last checks the hatch to make sure it’s secure.”

“Let’s get home. I wanna tell everybody what a great deal we got.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Pockets looked out the view port as he ate his breakfast at Lawani’s. He’d given Uncle Vilch a temporary authorization to move Mean Betti to the dock near the Inn. He wanted to surprise Fez with how spectacular her paint job came out.

“You did a fine job, Pockets,” Sheela said as she sat next to him. “Fezyr will be so pleased. It does not even look like the same ship!”

“She’s beautiful, ain’t she?” Pockets asked.

“She is. She looks new. She looks proud,” Sheela told him.

“She looks hot,” Rylaena said with approval.

“Pockets can we see inside her?” Finda asked.

“Sure, if it’s okay with Miss Lawani.”

“Lets all go look,” Lawani said. “Slobyn, watch the place,” she called to her bartender. “Lets make it quick girls, the brunch crowd will be coming in soon.”

The girls laughed because business, while lucrative, was actually very steady. They rarely had a rush.

Pockets led them to the tramway attached to the ship. “Ladies, he said. Welcome to the Mean Betti.”

They went in and walked around. Oo-ing and Ah-ing at the size and layout of her. 

“Why is it she is so beautiful outside but so plain inside?” Sheela asked.

“Well we ain’t had much of a chance to do inside stuff yet. I ain’t too great with sewing and all. I got everything real clean though,” Pockets said.

“Can you show us what you did to the ship’s computer?” Lawani asked.

“Oh sure. But be warned, I made her feisty,” the young Aybaali told them. “Mean Betty, come out and say hi to our guests.”

The hologram shimmered into being. Hello ladies.

“Wow! Now that’s what I call an AI! For an innocent kid, you sure gave her a knock out body!” Rylaena said. “A tough Dyzaali chick! Good choice!”

“The graphic program I built her with was from a video game. They all come pretty chesty.”

“Girl you are fine!” Rylaena said looking at Betti’s hologram.

The compliment is appreciated.

“Can we ask her questions?” Finda asked.

“Betti can I give them a temporary authorization to ask you questions?”

You can, my little Pockets.

Pockets snickered. “Please accept me authorizing you to answer questions from our guests.”

As you wish.

Pockets took Lawani’s hand. “Come on I’ll show you the galley. It’s pretty cool.”

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

After giving Lawani the grand tour, Pockets came back to find the girls still talking to Betti. He watched Sheela, standing in Fez’s quarters, point to the top of the bunk niche to the floor and then from wall to wall the length of the bunk. His gaze followed them as they went back out to the console and receive a printout.  All of the girls were holding printouts. “What’s going on?” he asked.

The ladies looked at him and laughed. “Recipes.”

“Oh.”

Lawani clapped her hands. “Ladies, we’ve got a business to run. Break’s over now. Let’s get back.” To Pockets she said, “You’ve done such a fine job. I know Fezyr will be pleased. I almost wish you could not have done it.”

“But why?” Pockets asked.

“It’s going to take you all away from us soon. It may be years before I see you boys again. This makes me a little sad.”

“Awww Miss Lawani,” was all Pockets could say as she hugged him.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

It was late afternoon when Fezyr did his docking circle around The Barge. “Whoa!  Look at that sassy bitch parked by Lawani’s!”

Mook frowned. “That’s a Demi like ours…but look at that paint job!”

“I bet it belongs to a band. That is some serious flash.” Fez shook his head.

“Let’s get parked, check on the Mihn and Pockets then see if we can get into it for a look! We might get some ideas.” Mook suggested.

“Yeah, I like that!” Fez arced the shuttle around the side of the Barge and pulled in to the bay where he usually parked. “You know pretty soon we’re gonna have to get Lil’ Zipper back into our gal.”

The two exited the shuttle and headed for B Bay. “When’re you gonna pick the color for her? You know we need to get her painted,” Mook asked.

“Man I wouldn’t mind usin’ that babe by Lawani’s for an idea.”

“You don’t wanna steal someone else’s idea. But that ship is sure a good starting place.”

“No s***.”

They walked into the bay and froze. It was empty. Neither of them spoke for a moment. Fezyr broke the stunned silence. “Mook, tell me we’re not in B Bay.”

Mook stepped out and looked at the sign. He stepped back in, “It’s B Bay.”

“Where’s my ship?” Fezyr asked. Then with more panic in his voice he said, “WHERE’S MY SHIP?!!”

“Okay, okay…let’s not panic. There’s got to be a perfectly logical explanation…maybe Uncle Vilch has her in another bay.”

“Yeah, yeah….that’s it. He’s got her in another bay,” Fezyr said, but he was still pretty rattled.

As they ran from bay to bay, Fezyr’s veneer of control got thinner and thinner. “WHERE’S MY SHIP?!” he raged after they checked the last bay.

“Where’s anybody?! Where’s my brother? Where’s Vilch?”

Both boys pulled their blasters. Something HAD to have gone down. Something bad.

“We should get to Lawani’s, make sure the girls are okay,” Mook said.

“Yeah….YEAH!”

The two took off at a dead run. They went through the middle of The Barge, making a short cut of the maze of maintenance tunnels.  There were moments when Mook thought they might be lost, but he had faith in his Dyzaali friend. In truth, along with a penchant for mechanics and tinkering, another good thing about Dyzaali was their internal GPS. They rarely got lost. Fezyr called it his biocompass.

As they approached the hatch that would open on the corridor that led to the front doors of Lawani’s, Fezyr stopped and leaned against it. “You ready?”

“Lemme catch my breath,” Mook said.  “What’s the plan?”

“We gotta be careful! We don’t want any a’the ladies hurt.”

“What about the thieves?”

“Hurt the livin’ stuffin’ outa THEM.”

“Okay. Good plan,” Mook nodded. “Let’s do it.”

The two burst out of the hatch and crashed through the doors of the restaurant.

Patrons dining, glanced up at the two wild-eyed spacer boys holding their blasters out, then returned to their meals and conversation.

Fezyr frowned. Where was the trouble? Where were the bad guys?

Sheela saw him, squealed with delight and ran to him. “Fezyr!”

“Sheela…wut’s goin’ on?”

“It is the beginning of the supper rush; we have many people here today.”

Mook had already holstered his blaster. “No trouble here, Fez. Put that away.”

Fezyr’s eyes scanned the customers. Oli was there and Vilch and even Admiral Gardwyne. “Wut’s goin’ on?” He asked again as he slowly holstered his weapon.

Lawani ushered both boys to the table where Pockets was sitting. “We were waiting for you boys to return,” she said smoothly.

“Well, Miss Wani, I appreciate that, but we kinda got us a situation right now. The Mihn Behti is gone.”

Pockets nodded. “Yep, gone for good.  She’s been replaced.”

“Re-wut?” Phaser looked at him blankly.

“Re-placed.” Pockets said.

“With wut?! Where’s my ship?!”

Pockets pointed out the view port. “With that.”

Fezyr frowned again and looked out the view port. His eyebrows nearly hit his hairline.

Mook clapped him on the back. “Fez that IS the Mihn Behti! Look closer.”

“I don’t…I don’t git it…how…”

“That is not the Mihn Behti. That old gal passed away after giving birth to Mean Betti.” Pockets countered.

“Mea…” Fez shook his head and looked at the ship again. “Okay you guys are crossin’ my wires.”

“Fezyr, that’s your ship, she’s just got a new paint job, boy!  And thanks to your little friend here, a heckuva good one,” Vilch told him.

The Dyzaali youth pressed himself against the view port and stared with smitten eyes.

“A rare moment,” Admiral Gardwyne chuckled. “The lad’s been struck speechless.”

“Are you okay with her, Fez? Do you like her?” Pockets asked unable to read his friend.

“Like ‘er? Starfire, she’s beautiful!” Fez whispered.

“He likes her,” Mook told everyone.

Amidst applause, Pockets stood and took Fezyr’s hand. “There’s more, Fez.”

“More?  How can there be more?” Fezyr asked looking down into Pockets’ happy face.

“Oh, there’s LOTS more,” Pockets grinned. “Ladies?”

Sheela pulled Fezyr away from the view port by his side belt loops. “Come with us. Miss Betti helped us with measurement.”

“Miss who?”

“Miss Betti,” Sheela pointed to the ship.

“She means the computer, I think,” Mook told him. “Lets go have a look at her!”

Fezyr, still stunned, allowed Sheela and Pockets to pull him along. All the guests he knew and the ladies and boys of Lawani’s followed.

When they reached the hatch, Pockets opened it and gestured they enter. “Welcome home,” he said.

“Oh…wow,” Fezyr said as he looked at the exotic light fixtures, beaded doorways, cushions with rich textures and prints.

“Looks rather like a brothel,” Admiral Gardwyne noted.

“Yeahhh,” Fezyr said with a big grin.

 “The ladies made all this for her,” Pockets said.

“I don’t know what to say…she’s beautiful!” He hugged Sheela to one side and Pockets to the other. “Inside and out.”

“He loves it. Why am I not in the least bit surprised?” Gardwyne chuckled to Oli who nodded and grinned.

“He’s still a kid. Attracted by bright colors and shiny things,” the old grease monkey said. “He’ll grow out of it one day.”

“Of that, I am not as certain,” Gardwyne said with a dubious but amused expression.

“There’s one more surprise,” Pockets said.

“There’s more?!  How can there be still more?! Ya done floored me already!” Phaser looked at him.

“Talk to her, Fez, ask her to come out.”

“Kaaaaay. Uh…hi Betti,”

Hello Fezyr. I’ve been waiting to meet you.

Fez looked at Pockets and shrugged. “Well…uhm...why don’cha come on out and do that.”

The air by the pilot’s seat began to shimmer and Betti materialized in all her leather-clad splendor. She smiled her sultry crooked smile at him, sauntered over and looked up at him. Am I satisfacftory? she asked.

Fez opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He just nodded.

“Struck dumb twice in one day,” Gardwyne said. “This could be a record.”

I am Mean Betti. I belong to this crew and this crew belongs to me, she said to all in attendance. Anyone messing with my crew, will also be messing with me. You will not like messing with me.

The guests all nodded and applauded.

Fezyr nodded. “Now that there’s what I’m talkin’ about!” he said, laughing. “Them blasters work, girl?”

Not as yet, Fezyr, but I have heard you will have a remedy for that.

Fez cast a sideways glance to Admiral Gardwyne who closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and exited the ship so he wouldn’t hear anything incriminating.

“They’re on their way, y’won’t be disappointed.” Fezyr told her.  “Okay! Okay!” He shouted. “Lets give our gal a proper-like welcome! Let’s have a party right here! YEAH!”

I think I have some music you will like.

The loud banging hard rock of Plutonium Balloon filled the ship and immediately the Lawani’s people began to dance.

Oli and Vilch stepped out and joined the Admiral who was having a pipe in the tramway. They watched as several of the waitstaff of Lawani’s walked by with the trays of finger foods and case of Elvrakaani wine Lawani had them prepare. The last one was carrying an unmarked bundle of something. The Admiral noted the porter has a rather thick Bastaani tail lashing to and fro.

“Shall we join the fun?” Gardwyne asked. “I have a feeling it’s going to be a long and extremely loud night.”



__________________

"Whenever I see a mime on the street or something, I reach for my cell phone and prepare for mime shenanigans." -- Nicolas Cage. Metamfiezomaiophobic or just cautious, you be the judge.



NIColicious Enchantress

Status: Offline
Posts: 5669
Date: 6:27 PM, 11/23/12
RE: THE GALAXY ACCORDING TO PHASER SPANGLES
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LOL. Now, that`s what I call a NICe and successful surprise for Fez!biggrin Really cool design! That ship really rocks!



__________________

"When you think about magic, it is imagination plus willpower focused in such a way that you can create a conscious effect in the material world..."

Nicolas Cage


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