Some of these are funny! I particularly love the Dorian Gray one...

If Nicolas Cage were an actor that played Gandalf, his name would be:

If Nicolas Cage were Lt. Cmdr. Data, Cpt. Picard would say:

If Nicolas Cage were as smart as Albert Einstein, his name would be:

If Nicolas Cage were as mad as Don Draper, his name would be:

If Nicolas Cage were as good with colors as Van Gogh, his name would be:

If Nicolas Cage were the father of physical measurements, his name would be:

If Nicolas Cage were the face on the $100 bill, his name would be:

If Nicolas Cage were a world famous writer, his name would be:

http://standardmadness.com/celebrities/the-many-names-of-nicolas-cage