Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Go on... Make us laugh!


Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 3:14 PM, 09/15/10
Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


We need a joke's thread!yellowflowergrin

These landed in my inbox today, apparently genuine answers on school exam papers!

These kids are creative.... their answers are way better than the 'correct' ones!rolllaugh

Enjoy!chortle























__________________

 

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 11:49 PM, 09/15/10
Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


An old one and somewhat exaggerated but amusing and might give you an idea of what Nova Scotia is like, especially the weather!


You might be from Nova Scotia if:

1. You know the provincial flower (Mildew).

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. You use the statement "sunny breaks" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 brands of rum to buy.

5. You know more people who own boats than who have air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk"signal.

8. You know more people who heat with wood than with oil.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Tim Horton's, and Wendy's coffee.

10. You know how to pronounce Tatamagouche, Musquodoboit, and Kejimkujik.

11. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

12. You can tell the difference between Canadian and American food.

13. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.

14. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

15. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain,"and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers".

16. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sunny breaks."

17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

18. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 10, but still wear your newfy sneakers and an oily. ( newfie sneakers are rubber boots)

19. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 15.

20. You know people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

21. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

22. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor on the highway.

23."Vacation" means going to Moncton for the weekend.

24. You measure distance in hours.

25.You know several people who have hit a deer.

26. You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

27. You use a down filled comforter in the summer.

28. Your Grandparents drive 100 km through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

29. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

30.You install security lights on both your house and garage and go out and leave both unlocked.

31. You think of the major food groups as: Meat, Fish and Tim Hortons.

32. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.

33. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot of the Canadian Tire store at any given time.

34. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

35. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

36. Your lingerie consists of tube socks and flannel pajamas.

37. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Road Construction.

38. It takes three hours to go to the store for one item, even when you're in a hurry, because you have to stop and talk to everybody in town.

 

CitadelAerial.jpg

www.novascotia.com



-- Edited by Lady Trueheart on Monday 15th of November 2010 04:26:11 PM

__________________

 



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 12:04 AM, 09/16/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


LOL! that was like a funny virtual holiday Meg ! yellowflowergrin

__________________

 

 



The Changeling

Status: Offline
Posts: 1288
Date: 12:22 AM, 09/16/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


These were great.   Having been to Nova Scotia, I can honestly say.....I can understand these.....Nova Scotia is a beautiful and rustic place.  I loved it!

Oh and I loved the answers to the math questions.....Had a good laugh over em'

__________________

"Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls"
~~~~ Khalil Gibran ~~~~



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 3:45 AM, 09/16/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


I always wondered where Hadrians' Wall was LOLbowsmiley

Nova Scotia is not too rustic!

__________________

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 3:47 AM, 09/16/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


Here's another one:



THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more beer for me.

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.



__________________

 



The Changeling

Status: Offline
Posts: 1288
Date: 4:06 AM, 09/16/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


oh my....I am truly giggling over here......the stuff that is what is impossible to say when you are drunk is also the very stuff that often gets us in DEEP DOO DOO

__________________

"Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls"
~~~~ Khalil Gibran ~~~~



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 1:49 AM, 10/18/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart:                          
                                                                           
 
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)                                                    
 
 Californians shiver uncontrollably.                                      
 
 Canadians plant gardens.                                                
 
                                                                          
 
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)                                                   
  Italian Cars won't start                                                
 
 Canadians drive with the windows down                                   
                                                                           
 
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)                                                      
 
 American water freezes                                                  
 
 Canadian water gets thicker.                                            
 
                                                                          
 
0 Fahrenheit (-17..9 C)                                                  
 
 New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.                       
  Canadians have the last cookout of the season.                          
 
                                                                          
 
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)                                                  
 
 Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.                                     
  Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.                         
                                                                           
 
-109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C)                                              
 
 Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.                                   
  Canadians pull down their earflaps.                                     
                                                                           
 
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)                                                
 
 Ethyl alcohol freezes.                                                  
 
 Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg                   
                                                                            
 -459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C)                                          
 
 Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.                                 
  Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"                                       
                                                                           
 
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)                                                
 
 Hell freezes over.                                                      
 
 The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup 



__________________

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 1:55 AM, 10/18/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


                      Resume


1.  My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned.  Couldn't concentrate.

  2.  Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack but just couldn't hack it so they gave me the axe.

  3.  After that, I tried being a tailor but wasn't suited for it—mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

  4.  Next, I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

  5.  Then, tried being a chef—figured it would add a little spice to my life but just didn't have the thyme.

  6.  Next, I attempted being a deli worker but any way I sliced it . . . couldn't cut the mustard.

  7.  My best job was a musician but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

  8.  I studied a long time to become a doctor but didn't have any patience.

  9.  Next, was a job in a shoe factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10.  I became a professional fisherman but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11.  Managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company but the work was just too draining.

12.  So then I got a job in a workout center but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13.  After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian—until I realized there was no future in it.

14.  My last job was working in Starbucks but had to quit because it was the same old grind.


15.  SO I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!


__________________

 



The Changeling

Status: Offline
Posts: 1288
Date: 3:21 AM, 10/18/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


I've always enjoyed the play on words...........these are great.

__________________

"Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls"
~~~~ Khalil Gibran ~~~~



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 1:36 PM, 10/18/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


LOL! thank you for the laughs Lady Trueheart, very clever and funny! Loved the historian one! yellowflowergrin

__________________

 

 



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 12:01 PM, 11/29/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


i'm receiving these funny pics in email circulars all the time! This one is hilarious!rolllaugh




__________________

 

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 7:46 PM, 11/29/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


LOL!!!! The funny thing is that the first ones look kind of sexy now.

__________________

 



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 2:18 PM, 11/30/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


LOL!! Especially because they appear to be crotchless?!?!secretchortle

__________________

 

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 2:43 PM, 11/30/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


lol! Very awkward those crotchless pants, may as well just go kNICkerless!!!



__________________

 



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 4:44 PM, 11/30/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


hehe! wink.gif that's your entry for the Cagealot NICtionary then is it meg?!!!! rolllaugh

__________________

 

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 4:49 PM, 11/30/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


Yes, it should go there, but it is not original to me!

__________________

 



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 6:37 PM, 11/30/10
Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


Well...kNICkerless is definitely the next category on that diagram...notice how it stops at 2006!!! yellowflowergrin
You can't own a word like that..it just IS! wink.gif

I still can't get over those crotchless pantaloons...life in the 18th century eh?

'Why, Mr Blake, you know I'd quite happily climb the library ladder to get your book down from the top shelf so you can recite me some of your poetry! '


-- Edited by Lula Argante on Tuesday 30th of November 2010 07:14:34 PM

__________________

 

 



Nicalicious

Status: Offline
Posts: 6722
Date: 6:48 PM, 11/30/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


LOL! Lucky Mr. Blake!

__________________

 



Faery Queen of Cagealot Castle

Status: Offline
Posts: 8403
Date: 7:18 PM, 11/30/10
RE: Go on... Make us laugh!
Permalink  
 


Are you kidding? We are talking about the Mr William Blake here, I'd climb up a ladder in his underwear to have him read some of his poetry to me in person....! starry

__________________

 

 

1 2 310  >  Last»  | Page of 10  sorted by
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page
Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard